A pee filled weekend...

Camping! Such a fine idea! Such a nice idea! An idea for some whole hearted foreign fun!

Or so we thought....

The plan was to go to Goeje, an island off the coast of Busan, and spend the weekend swimming, sunning and sleeping in tents. A group of about 20 foreigners showed up, mostly on Saturday, but myself, Rich, Charle and a few others showed up on Friday to start early.

The trip from Miryang to Goeje is about 2 hours...

So 6 hours and half a bottle of whiskey later we arrived.

After a successful scavenge for firewood, AJ and I set off to build the firepit and create the nest egg that would be our home for the rest of the weekend. Friday was a low key night, as we all sat around the fire and prepared for the inevitable shenanigans of the next day.

By the time we crashed it was about 5am. I slid into my little tent ready for some quality shut eye. At approximately 7am I awoke in a pool of my own sweat..as the tents quickly became our own personal saunas. I pulled out a pillow and a towel and slept on the beach for another couple hours, then awoke and ran immediately into the ocean where the others had already found refuge.

The water was crystal clear, and luckily for us, all the fully covered beach Koreans and their umbrellas were down at the far end of the beach, giving us the place to ourselves (minus some Russians who came out of nowhere).

In the distance, probably about a mile offshore, existed an island. We decided to name this Waygook Island and made it a personal mission to conquer the territory by days end.

As a group, we found that our scavenging skills were particularly astute on this day, as we found an assortment of floats, goggles, and other beach accessories that would be crucial to storming the beaches at Waygook island.

Now before I continue, it's important to note that Koreans are not the most adept swimmers. Perhaps it's because they are weighed down by clothing, as they swim fully clothed to avoid the sun.

As if by telepathic genius, we all simultaneously began our swim out.

2 people had paddled out ahead on a raft we found near the bathrooms, whereas myself and a couple others decided to go at it Micheal Phelps style on our own. We had made it about a kilometer out, when we started to here the whistles. Now Korean lifeguards will blow the whistle if the water is merely at your waistline...so at this point they were in full freakout mode. A few immediately turned back in, but myself and a few others continued the quest in spite of him.

Finally, after 10 minutes of whistle blowing and watching him dive in and chase us with his red buoy, team Phelps decided to turn in. The flotation crew were still going full speed ahead, and now were over halfway to the destination.

And as luck would have it...the lifeguard reached me first.

"WHATEVER!" he said to me, a face full of pure anger.

This was not the correct greeting for someone in the middle of the ocean.

"Whatever what man? Don't worry about us, we are ok."- Annie

"Not ok! Dangerous!"-anger guard

"Nah man, we are good swimmers! We are fine!"- Gold medalist in guard dodging

"I call coast guard on you!"-pure rage

"That seems a bit excessive"-Waygook jerk

He gestured to the flotation crew asking if they were my friends, and telling me they cannot swim out there. At this point I responded that there was not much I could do about that unless he wanted me to swim after him.

At this point I felt there was nothing much left for him and I to discuss so I swam ashore. Later, the flotation crew would also come ashore, except this time they would be in speed boats accompanied by angry covered Koreans. They made it to the island but told us it was covered in trash and jagged rocks.

The day progressed with many giggles, laughs, and even a few guffaws. Everyone was getting along great, I even learned how to play cricket! But then...disaster struck.

We had been playing water frisbee. I missed the one thrown to me, and I went to swim after it, afraid that it would float away otherwise (a mistake I had made earlier in the day with a beach ball...I screamed "Wilson" as it floated out of reach). I focused on the frisbee, began to swim after it, and it was just out of reach when AHHHH. My whole arm felt like it was on fire and simultaneously being pricked with a thousand death pins. I had swam right through the tentacles of a jellyfish.

Now back home, I have been stung on more than one occasion, and never has the pain or discomfort lasted more than 10 minutes or so. Even earlier that day, on my journey to Waygook island, I had felt a sting on my knee, but it disappeared rather quickly.

I jumped out of the water to see my arm rapidly swelling up. I could see where the jellyfish stung my flesh, as it was white and bubbly. I have a fairly high pain tolerance, but this was not subsiding and was spreading to the entirety of my left arm.

Joel, a guy who was also in the frisbee game, had been stung years ago and jumped into action. He helped take me to the lifeguard stand, where he said they would likely have ammonia to neutralize the burn.

Well the lifeguards had no such thing, but I sat there with ice as Joel and I laughed at anger guard as he sat there stewing at us. The guards insisted that I go to the hospital, to which I replied "aniyo, Soju joseyo." translation "no, I want to drink." They finally understood that a hospital trip would really disrupt the long night of drinking I had planned ahead, they let me go, saying if I became nauseous or felt dizzy to immediately seek help.

The only problem was the ice did nothing for the pain, and as I walked back to base camp, I remembered hearing about an alternative way to neutralize the sting....

"Hey....does anyone need to pee?!"

Now if you had told me that morning, that I would be getting pissed on, I would have laughed and thought, oh what a silly thing to say! How silly! What a silly thing!

But there I was, arm burning an swollen, with my friend Charle and y new friend Chris (we bonded quickly) preparing for the first Golden Shower of my life. We were outside the bathhouse, amidst the stares of the Koreans (only their eyes were uncovered) preparing for the urine bath I was about to endure. Charle, beig a female, took the courtesy to pee into a coke bottle ahead of time, and we poured the 98.6 degree liquid over the top of the sting. Because the tentacle had wrapped all around my arm, and because I was trying to limit the amount of excess body juice that would be getting all over the rest of my body, Chris was crucial in aiming for the underarm. I stood up, with my arm fully outstretched, my eyes closed, and ready for the taking. Chris had no stage fright, and soon my sting was fully covered in urine. Fortunately and unfortunately, both friends had been evidently dehydrated that day, so the antidote was pungent and concentrated.

Nonetheless the golden shower did help the sting a bit, and mostly made for a good story. The rest of the night went off fairly smoothly: drinking, night swimming, cooking on the fire, playing guitar, and vowing that I would seek revenge on the jellyfish who did this to me. I will find you one day you little blobby jerk...and when I do, I will pee all over you and your jelly family.

The next morning we awoke in our saunas, hungover, shamed and dirty, and prepared to pack up for our journey home. I was in desperate need for a shower (fear not, I did wash the pee off my arm after the sprinkling incident). We bid everyone adieu, and drive-of-shamed it back to Miryang. We were tired, salty, tan, smelly, and still a little drunk, but mostly happy that we were probably the strangest group of people the covered Koreans have ever witnessed in their heavily visored lives.

English Camp

Poor little Korean Kids.

Shortly after my arrival in this fine country, I had a bit of a crash course in the life of a Korean student. Being a teacher, I felt it necessary to understand the ins and outs of the education system here, but was a bit surprised at what I found out....

The first shocking fact came within my first week. It was here, in my class, that I found out that corporal punishment is still alive and well in the classrooms of Korea. If a student is acting out, it is perfectly acceptable, nay encouraged, to smack him or her in the back or face. Occasionally, students receive a swift kick to the side, or the friendlier pinch on the neck. Sometimes it is a more lighthearted slap, other times it is a beating that leaves the kid in tears. I have seen teachers even reward the good students by letting them stand up and smack around the bad student.

Needless to say, this was a bit of a shock at first, but what is arguably more shocking is how quickly I became unphased by such actions. In fact, I didn't even think about it until the other night when I was on the phone with Debbie and explained to he these classroom activities. "Ya Kiddin me Annieeee" she exclaimed in her Tauntonesque accent, "isn't that a little hahhhrsh?"

Well yes ma, it is, but to be honest, it is the least of a Korean students worries.

When it comes to physical abuse in Korea, well that's a whole other post entirely. But when it comes to educational abuse (for lack of a better term) quite frankly, being a Korean student suuuuccckkksss.

When researching a teaching opportunity in Korea, you are faced with two main options, public or private. I work for the public schools, so technically I am a Korean government employee with all the benefits and protections clearly stated in my contract. Private gigs, at places called "hagwons" tend to have a bad rap by being a bit shadier, because they are businesses and tend to be a bit more labor intensive.

You see, the average Korean student goes to school from 8:30 am to 2:30 pm every day. Then, they go immediately to hagwons for further instruction, often coming home past 10pm. Basically, a Korean kid is studying from 8:30 to 10 everyday, and typically when they finish, they go home, do homework (or play computer games, but more on that another day) and go to sleep.

The education system here is broken into trimesters. The first trimester begins around May. The kids receive summer "break" for about a month in August, then they begin again end of August/ early September. There are log holiday weekends sprinkled throughout the year, then they get winter break for December or January, come back for a couple weeks, another break, then may semester begins.

However, their breaks are merely a facade, as often they continue to go to hagwons daily...or they are forced to go to...dun dun dun...English camp.

English camp is a week of in-classroom activity that is supposed to be an intensive language acquisition program...which it rarely is. The native English teachers are fully in charge and have to develop the lessons..which usually involve games, movies and minimal educational absorption.

This break, I have a total of 3 weeks of English camp. I just completed the camp for the city office of education, and now I have two weeks of camp for my school (which has basically been me babysitting the one or two kids who show up).

For the Education office camp, all the foreigners here in Miryang (there's about 16 of us) got together for a week of enriching the minds of the Asian youth. We all paired up and chose both a topic, and a 7- minute "play" that our students would be performing in a grand closing ceremony.

Naturally I chose the hit theatrical production titled "goiter man" for our young thespians. If you are wondering what goiter man is about...just think about the title..it will lead your way.

Anyways, our topic was culture, and I basically just spent time telling the kids about American and Italian food and played a game. The week was boiling hot, so I taught all students to say "It's wicked hot out heaaaaahhh." My class was very cute, and though it was a week, we all created a solid bond and they told me they would miss me. ::tear:: I even got a few hugs out of the deal!

At one point, Greg and I told the students that we were married and had 2 children named Shadynasty and Ezekiel. The students were shocked beyond belief, and fell for our charade hook line and sinker.

The last day, the goiters were ready, we had painted our faces, and our little play went off without a hitch..except for all the hitches that went off. But all in all the kids had a great week.

What made me sad though, was that a lot of these children were having fun for the first time in a long time within a classroom environment. Because this camp was for the most gifted of the students, most of them spend their days in schools and hagwons, trying to constantly appease their parents dissatisfaction. Some of them don't get hugs on a daily basis, and don't even get a "good job" or a paper on the refrigerator from their parents. This causes two interesting things about Korean students, 1) spontaneous crying and 2) the highest suicide rate in the world.

To elaborate on the first point, every day I have a cryer. Usually it is about something ridiculously stupid. Now, when the little 3rd graders start crying, I try and comfort them a little bit. But when the 6th grade boys are having a sobfest, I just tell them to walk it off. So let's look at the English Camp, at one point, a bunch of girls were accusing a boy about having many girlfriends. He got embarrassed and stormed out of the class. I gave him a minute or two, and went to go find him crying on the staircase. I sat next to him and asked "Tom*  What is wrong?" To which he explained the situation about the girlfriends and he had a best friend who was a girl but they were not in love. I explained to him how the girls in the class probably had a huge crush on him, and how next time they say things like that, for him to respond "Of course I have ton's of girlfriends, I am awesome!" I gave him candy, patted him on the back, and sent him back into the classroom. Problem Solved.

But onto the bigger problem. Because of the insane amount of stress put on these students, there are constantly reports about preteens and teenagers committing suicide. During test days, they have extra street guards out just to make sure kids don't jump in front of cars. A lot of them decide that they just can't take the pressure anymore and try and end their lives. It's insanely sad, but what is also sad is the fact that Koreans don't change their ways to better the system and decrease the suicide rate. Reduce Hagwon time, or allow for more time off during vacation. Do not put such pressure on standardized tests, or try and praise a student for doing a good job. I know this is all radical and crazy sounding, but sometimes Koreans lack that type of problem solving ability.

Anyways, I have about a week left of my school's English camp. Yesterday I had the students all dancing the electric slide and the cotton-eyed joe around the classroom because we had a lesson in line dancing, because screw learning, it's camp time!