Reflections on November: The month everyone fell in love and I reached enlightenment

So last month, everyone decided to fall in love.

And I'm talking EVERYONE!

One of my 4th graders proposed to his friend. A 5th grader started wearing matching heart pendants with his 4th grade girlfriend (ever so scandalous). Chris and Emma in the 1st grade are deeply in love, and they make each other cards and then beat each other up after lunch. The 6th grade is a complete cesspool of hormones and even the kindergartners have been caught holding hands.

Needless to say, love is in the air! It's quite adorable, and typically these young couples are well regarded by their classmates (whereas in elementary schools in the US, relationships are met with ridicule and rhyming songs). The crazy thing is, some of them are like really "in love" (I just said that like Daisy from "Rock of Love" BTW). I mean, I could really see some of them making it through the long haul, and in a time where even Danny Devito is getting a divorce, it's a bit refreshing to see everyone's heart-a-flutter.

Even us "adults" are finding love, as many of my friends have found themselves in relationships, or potential relationships, this month.

Perhaps it was due to our spiritual journey a few weeks back, when the Education office had the bright idea to send the motley crew of foreign teachers over to Tongdosa for a Buddhist temple retreat.

I for one was quite excited, as I have been studying Buddhism for some time now and was eager to learn more firsthand.

AND as luck would have it, the monk that was put in charge of us was a 20 something from Seattle, and was very willing and open to all of our questions.

That being said, through the chanting, meditation, 108 bows (ouch!) and formal meals, our group of delinquents were probably the most inappropriate bunch the temple as ever seen.

The fact that the first thing we talked about with the monk was how Washington recently legalized marijuana, I'm sure he soon realized that taking care of us was going to be akin to herding cats.

The boys urged the girls to try and seduce him, the girls joined the boys in a riveting game of "floor darts" (what we made up when we were supposed to have a quiet reflection time...basically you slide across the floor on meditation mats), all of us made a spectacle of ourselves during the morning mountain climb and during formal meal...

And I had to eat a fly.

During the formal meal, ALL food must be consumed. You have to eat everything you take, even using water to wash the bowls and drinking said water. Of course, as luck would have it, a fly fell into my soup. I had to quietly panic (as the whole meal was supposed to occur in silence) but I didn't know what to do. The Buddhists are vegetarians,  but also cannot leave extra food. Finally I turned to my friend Tim and showed him the dilemma in my spoon. "Eat it" he said, "You have to!"

And down the fly went.

Afterwards, we were contemplating if I had made the right choice, when my friend Anita asked the monk what the correct course of action had been. He said that I could have gone either way, but probably eating it was best, and less messy.

So ya, I ate an animal at a Buddhist temple. Oops.

All in all it was a great experience, I want to go again! But I think I will forever be too loud and obnoxious to reach complete enlightenment.

 They had us all looking sexy in the latest in Buddhist fashions.

PEACE!

Korean Winter and Avoiding Fan Death

Ahhh the first real snowfall of the season.

Today, before I had to educate my sixth grade class, we all noticed the beauty of the season's first snowfall as it gracefully glistened outside our school windows. We saw the flakes descend upon the mountain which stands directly behind my rural school. The children squealed with joy, as they all ran out after a lunch of flavored meat water soup, to gather snowballs and frolic in the wintery bliss. Such a lovely sight here in the Republic of Korea, as happy children enjoyed the weather and urged me to join them. "Teacha" they cried "snow barr pight!" I flashed back to the first snow fall when I was in Turkey and remembered how all the students and teachers giggled as we pelted each other with snowballs and laughed at the change of the seasons. I thought to recreate this moment in another country, but instead I glanced at them through the window from behind my desk, as I crouched behind a small space heater in my winter gear...

Because I was literally freezing my ass off...

You see, Koreans are very health conscious people, which is a great aspect of their society, with the exception of their viewpoints on temperature control. Walk into any Korean house in the cold, and they will be blaring their under-floor heating (exactly what it sounds like) and it's truly amazing. In the summer, the homes have full AirCon and people can rest from the sweltering heat in comfort. But the rules for school are different.

For some reason, the Korean ideas of air flow and ventilation rank higher in importance than the general well being of those contained inside of a building.

Today it is snowing, and negative 5 degrees Celsius (you can do the conversion back home) yet ALL of the windows and doors in my school are wide open. Teachers rarely put on the heat in their classrooms, and instead put one small space heater under the desk. This is particularly difficult when utilizing the lavoratory services, as every time i sit down to pee, my buttcheeks get frostbite.

Unfortunately my reluctance to urinate due to the fear of frigid porcelain, has caused me to hold it in for longer than I probably should. This, in turn, lead to a urinary tract infection. Due to a lack of communication and available medicine, this lead to a bladder infection. Due to a lack of ability to leave my bathroom or explain to a taxi driver that I needed to go the doctor, I had to be rescued my one of my Korean friends and her Mom after being stuck in my bathroom for over 3 hours. Due to miscommunications about my urinary issues, this lead to being unnecessary examined by several doctors. All of this factored into a particularly uncomfortable Wednesday  and also really adversely affected my health. Due to this uncomfortable Wednesday  I decided to overshare personal information on the interwebs and gave you readers no warning to what you would be reading about and now you all know way to much about my urinary system.

But don't blame me for this, blame Korea.

It's equally as puzzling in the summertime. The temperature outside is like a sauna, as it is very hot and humid. Yet schools are reluctant to turn on the air conditioner. Not to mention at night, there is the perpetual Korean fear of....Fan Death.

So for those of you who don't know what Fan Death is (and have not yet googled it) it is not fatalities occurred by screaming oreteens at a Justin Beiber concert. Worse...it's the idea that the majority of the country upholds, that if you sleep with a fan in your bedroom, that the fan somehow sucks up all of the good air in the room and thus causes suffocation, and in turn, death.

Note: No scientific evidence has ever backed up the credibility of Fan Death.

As mentioned before, Korea has the highest suicide rate in the world, yet this is not something often talked about. Frequently, if someone unfortunately decides to take their own life, the family, being too proud to admit it, will then blame the perils of Fan Death. Not only is this an awful way to avoid discussing a major national problem, but it also severely impacts treatment of temperature in the day to day.

So here I sit, cold, alone, and unable to pee freely. Perhaps Ebenezer Scrooge was actually an English Teacher in Korea...because if that was the case, then I completely understand his viewpoint.

Personal Space

Sorry for being a jerk in this video...I just have a lot of feelings.

Gangnam Style

So strangely enough, soon after I moved to this great nation of South Korea, an epidemic took over the world.

This disease, which began here in Korea and quickly spread internationally, is known only...as Gangnam Style.

For those of you who have been hiding under a sound-proof rock, here's the song above.

This song non-sensically touts the "badassery" of living the high life in Gangnam, the wealthy area of Seoul, but really focuses on the most assinine dance move since the hand-jive. Dubbed the "horse dance" Gangnam style has swept the world.

And here in Korea, a country that has a non-existent drug culture, Gangnam style is crack.

First of all, the one thing Koreans may love almost as much as kimchi, is choreographed dance routines. The art of the music video still reigns supreme here, and when a new k-pop song comes out, the choreography is immediately absorbed, copied, and performed en masse in clubs across the nation.

I first heard Gangnam Style during the Miryang English Camp at the end of July/ beginning of August this past summer. The students showed us the video by singer Psy, and then learned the dance for my end-of-the-week production of the hit broadway play, "Goiter Man" (It was tony-award winning, trust me). I almost blame myself for the worldwide craze, as soon after I posted the song to my Facebook profile, and seeing as how I am so popular and I have so many friends and I am so well-loved and amazing and humble....it was bound to take off.

Psy could be compared to a Weird Al Yankovic in the states. A comedic singer, he actually attended Boston University (Sucks to BU!) and Berkelee College of Music...so ya...we can partially blame the hub for all this...

Also, I found out that one time he got arrested for possession of marijuana here in Korea, and paid his way out, the equivalent of about $400,000 dollars. That's some Gangnam Style shit, yo'...represent!

His video plays on both the slapstick humor that is popular here in Korea, as well as the borderline vulgarity that we love oh-so-much back in the USA. That combined with a gimmicky dance move, toe-tapping beat, and catchy catch-phrase, this one was destined for complete airwave takeover.

But Americans, playa please, quit your complaining about the incessant overplaying of this song, because if you think it is annoying back in the states, than your head would literally explode over here.

I cannot go a day without hearing Gangnam style. It's not even like they overplay it on the radio, I'm talking they play it in the stores, the train stations, the classrooms..even just on the street.

But that isn't the worst part. Even more annoying than the song itself (which I will admit, I do have on my ipod...when in Rome!) is the fact that EVERY Korean person will come up to me and ask:

"Do you know Gangnam style?"

Oh no, I'm sorry, I am unfamiliar with the song that has turned my eardrums into Zildijian cymbals. I don't recognize that seizure-inducing beat that makes me want to kick puppies. What is that dance you are doing? It looks like you are riding on an ass? Oh it's a horse dance! My mistake, I thought people around here just enjoyed looking completely moronic. Thanks for clearing it up!

Now, at first, I was all about it, and to be honest, when I am drunk, I can Gangnam Style like no other. What is also unfortunate, is that this song will be over in approximately one month (Remember Gotye's hit "Somebody that I used to Know? Ya...neither do I) and then South Korea's 15 minutes of world-wide fame will fade into the background of the United Nations until North Korea tries to shoot off another failed bomb again.

In a sense, I feel for Korea. Gangnam style is now more than just an annoying song, it is an annoying anthem of a generation. One day this song will be nothing more than a wedding line dance, and we will be able to look back and think, "I knew this song when it was cool." I mean, think of the "Macarena." There was once a time where we all took joy in the monotony of group arm choreography, and now, our bodies just seem to automatically go through the motions at the occasional Bar Mitzvahs.

Stop the madness now. Save this song from it's eventual demise. Try and keep this chaos as a novelty. Hey...Sexy Lady....

Oppa Gangnam Style!

Oh ya...and this happened.....


http://www.happyplace.com/18380/person-gets-music-tattoo-theyll-regret-fifteen-minutes-from-now

PS-that's not me...




or is it?


PEACE
Annie G.

Coffee in Korea

Coffee is a valuable resource that seems to be lacking in both quantity and quality here in Korea.

On an unrelated note...I am learning how to use the video editor on my IPad.

Chuseok 2012: Nobody puts baby in a corner

I apologize for not updating in a while, life has been a little crazy here in the orient!

Most notably was the recent long holiday weekend known as Chuseok. From Friday, September 28th until Wednesday, October 3rd we were in full celebration mode.

Chuseok is like a Korean thanksgiving. Koreans go to the graves of their ancestors, cut the grass that has overgrown, and then go home to visit their families, overeat and then sit around playing computer games.

My holiday started on Thursday.

After work, I went to meet up with other foreigners at one of our favorite fried chicken and beer restaurants, to celebrate my dear friend Tim's birthday! Of course, this drunkenly lead us to our favorite noraebang, where we sang until about 3am....

Needless to say, this was only the beginning...

I had no classes on Friday because my students were on a field trip, so I basically spent the whole day as a zombie staring at a computer screen. After school, the teachers all went out for dinner, where my principal insisted I sit next to him, and also suggested we should buy matching outfits so he could be my boyfriend...

It was later that the fun all began. Charle and I went to Busan to meet friends for some girls birthday. Apparently, I talked with her for a good hour that night.... I wouldn't know.

On our journey to Busan we decided to create a game, based on a point system with strangers. High fives were one point each, hugs and photobombs were 5 points each, and a bum pinch was 10.

After bum pinching about 5 strangers on the subway (which we got on in the wrong direction) we were waiting for our connecting train when a waltz came on the loudspeakers. We dramatically danced around the platform, specifically circling an innocent Korean couple. Soon we realized, amidst our twirling, that this couple was apparently breaking up, hence the heaving sobs coming from the girl and the look if apathy on the guy's face. We escaped that scene, and I began flexing my new muscles in the reflection of the glass on the platform (I've been working out).

Soon a semicircle of old people cheered me on as I flexed, and I told them I could beat up anyone on that platform.

Finally we made it to our destination, and the party began. We ended up at rock and roll bar, and the song from Dirty Dancing came on, which of course, spawned the catch phrase of the weekend, "nobody puts baby in a corner." As luck would have it, I was put in a corner about 3 times, but we won't get into that....

At about 5 am, we stumbled home. At about 4pm the following day, I had the strength to get off the bathroom floor and leave the house. I vowed that night would be different, that I would go to bed at a decent hour and not do anything inappropriate to try and score points...

18 bum pinches, 36 high fives, 20 hugs, 3 photobombs, and a bottle of Soju later, we were 3 hours deep into an intense noraebang night. I had won all the points for the night, because I had fed a girl kimchi on the street, so I was basking in my glory. You see, all the college students return home for chuseok weekend, so while Miryang is normally a ghost town, this particular weekend it was as busy as the Vegas strip. The noraebang was FULL, and we even found two girls passed out in a room, microphones still in hand. It was beautiful.

The following night we decided to go to Daegu. Now, from all the noraebanging the night before, my voice was really husky. We laughed at my mannish voice as we prepared for our night out. As I dressed in my normal outrageous fashion, I laughed to myself that I resembled a drag queen. What a silly notion! We laughed all the way to Daegu as I joked about stuffing my pants and telling everyone I was actually born "Andy."

We arrived at a party at a bar called Bunnies, that Robert (the man the myth and the legend) recently did some artwork for.

Robert is one of the funniest people I have met. He has exceeded everyone's expectations with regards to wit, and height. Originally from Texas, he has the swagger of an astronaut and the knowledge of a retired police officer. His virtual presence is unrivaled, and we first made our official acquaintance at a barbecue honoring South Africa. He sat and listened to me recount stories from yesteryear, and laugh at the silliness of this life that we live. Little did I know, his omnipresent personality already knew more about me than I could imagine. I really hope he is reading this right now.

My friend Terisha invited her friends from the Army out to meet us, and during the longest Beirut game of my life...I notice an older Korean man observing our game. I spoke aloud, remarking about a recent play. The Korean man turned to me, looked me quizzically in the eye, and asked....


"Lady?"

It took me a second to realize that he was asking about my gender, and not about the delicate way I am always acting. I just turned around and said, "Who brought this guy?" And continuously expressed my hatred for him for the remainder of the game.

The army boys turned to us at the end of the game and suggested we all go to the local casino for floor drinks and blackjack. Anyone who knows me, understands my love of midnight Foxwoods trips and roulette, so naturally us ladies obliged. We made our way threw the smoky throngs of Phillipinos to the roulette table, where I lost 15 bucks in short order. We then decided, being 3am and all, it was a wise idea to play drinking games until 630 am. Another sleepless night.

The following night was another late night Miryang BBQ, which got me to bed at around 4am again. In the afternoon on Tuesday we decided to have another quiet, adult like visit to Daegu. Ingrid, Rich, Kef and myself journeyed to the city to meet up with Terisha. We did a little bit of shopping and decided to make our way to Travelers, the only place where you can get good burger in Daegu. As we walked in, we saw our friends Tim and Jitesh, and also met up with some other long lost buddies that seemed to all migrate tot travelers that evening, as if fate was bringing us all together to party. Around midnight, we decided to be wise and take the earlier train home (the last night train from Daegu leaves at 2:30 am) and call it a night.

Now, maybe it was my off-kilter body clock, or maybe it was the bright lights of Daegu, but I was in no mood to turn in yet, so I convinced Kef to stay out, and madness ensued.

At 7am, as we waited for the early train home, we dazed in and out of consciousness as we remarked about the previous hours when we got adopted by a group of Korean students, were invited for unlimited Jack Daniels at another groups table, got into numerous gangnam style dance-offs, and even got invited to a Korean wedding.

Personally my favorite character of the night was a little drunk Korean girl named Sook Jee, who loved me so much that she physically cried upon my departure.

All in all, Chuseok was an overwhelming success, even though I was ready to get back to work, purely to save what was left of my liver for a few hours.

Taiwanna vacation!!

Geez, it's been a while since my golden shower in Goeje...A bit of an overdue post, but let me bring you all up to speed!!

For my summer break, I took a hop skip and a jump over to the lovely island of Taiwan. Accompanied by my dangerously tall South African neighbor Greg, we knew it would be a miracle if we made it out alive.

We started our trip in Hualien on the East coast. After a day of exploration we decided to do what any educated, responsible traveller would do....find a bar.

After wandering around aimlessly for an hour, we happened upon "All Star Pub."

Approximately 6 hours into a new country, and the G came out.

The All Star Pub had a traditional band playing the stage that night, they were good to begin with, but after several tequila sunrises, they went from OK to FANTASTIC. After they finished their set, the stage was opened up to Kareoke....

Well, after getting the entire bar up and dancing to "I will survive", I got free jäger shots and was asked by other patrons to be the chosen back up dancer for various other performances. This was followed the next night by befriending a German man who lives in Taiwan with his wife. Him and I discussed Travelling, europe, and life, and when asked about other places he experienced during his time in Asia he responded..."I don't go many places around here....I don't like Asians."

Then, to Taipei we went to meet up with our darling friend Ingrid. We spent the time in Taipei at the typical tourist attractions: Taipei 101 Tower, Hot springs, snake alley...etc.

Amidst all the sightseeing, I decided there was one thing left for me to do.

Street Tattoo.

We went to Shilin Night Market, which is a big open air market where you can buy anything from stinky tofu to rolex watches. Now, though I have never gotten a tattoo before, I had been thinking about this particular idea for some time now. I walked past a street tattoo parlor and thought to myself, this is the place to go.

I showed up the next day and met up with Fong (don't worry, him and I are facebook friends now) and told him I wanted a lotus flower on my ankle. I bravely sat down and clenched my teeth, as Fong assured me "Don't worry, you are my woman." I was still unsure of what that meant when the tattoo began.

Barring any hepatitis, it was a great vacation. The food was delicious, the people were fun, and we had a splendid time! Until we had to get back on a plane to the land of the Kimchi.....

A pee filled weekend...

Camping! Such a fine idea! Such a nice idea! An idea for some whole hearted foreign fun!

Or so we thought....

The plan was to go to Goeje, an island off the coast of Busan, and spend the weekend swimming, sunning and sleeping in tents. A group of about 20 foreigners showed up, mostly on Saturday, but myself, Rich, Charle and a few others showed up on Friday to start early.

The trip from Miryang to Goeje is about 2 hours...

So 6 hours and half a bottle of whiskey later we arrived.

After a successful scavenge for firewood, AJ and I set off to build the firepit and create the nest egg that would be our home for the rest of the weekend. Friday was a low key night, as we all sat around the fire and prepared for the inevitable shenanigans of the next day.

By the time we crashed it was about 5am. I slid into my little tent ready for some quality shut eye. At approximately 7am I awoke in a pool of my own sweat..as the tents quickly became our own personal saunas. I pulled out a pillow and a towel and slept on the beach for another couple hours, then awoke and ran immediately into the ocean where the others had already found refuge.

The water was crystal clear, and luckily for us, all the fully covered beach Koreans and their umbrellas were down at the far end of the beach, giving us the place to ourselves (minus some Russians who came out of nowhere).

In the distance, probably about a mile offshore, existed an island. We decided to name this Waygook Island and made it a personal mission to conquer the territory by days end.

As a group, we found that our scavenging skills were particularly astute on this day, as we found an assortment of floats, goggles, and other beach accessories that would be crucial to storming the beaches at Waygook island.

Now before I continue, it's important to note that Koreans are not the most adept swimmers. Perhaps it's because they are weighed down by clothing, as they swim fully clothed to avoid the sun.

As if by telepathic genius, we all simultaneously began our swim out.

2 people had paddled out ahead on a raft we found near the bathrooms, whereas myself and a couple others decided to go at it Micheal Phelps style on our own. We had made it about a kilometer out, when we started to here the whistles. Now Korean lifeguards will blow the whistle if the water is merely at your waistline...so at this point they were in full freakout mode. A few immediately turned back in, but myself and a few others continued the quest in spite of him.

Finally, after 10 minutes of whistle blowing and watching him dive in and chase us with his red buoy, team Phelps decided to turn in. The flotation crew were still going full speed ahead, and now were over halfway to the destination.

And as luck would have it...the lifeguard reached me first.

"WHATEVER!" he said to me, a face full of pure anger.

This was not the correct greeting for someone in the middle of the ocean.

"Whatever what man? Don't worry about us, we are ok."- Annie

"Not ok! Dangerous!"-anger guard

"Nah man, we are good swimmers! We are fine!"- Gold medalist in guard dodging

"I call coast guard on you!"-pure rage

"That seems a bit excessive"-Waygook jerk

He gestured to the flotation crew asking if they were my friends, and telling me they cannot swim out there. At this point I responded that there was not much I could do about that unless he wanted me to swim after him.

At this point I felt there was nothing much left for him and I to discuss so I swam ashore. Later, the flotation crew would also come ashore, except this time they would be in speed boats accompanied by angry covered Koreans. They made it to the island but told us it was covered in trash and jagged rocks.

The day progressed with many giggles, laughs, and even a few guffaws. Everyone was getting along great, I even learned how to play cricket! But then...disaster struck.

We had been playing water frisbee. I missed the one thrown to me, and I went to swim after it, afraid that it would float away otherwise (a mistake I had made earlier in the day with a beach ball...I screamed "Wilson" as it floated out of reach). I focused on the frisbee, began to swim after it, and it was just out of reach when AHHHH. My whole arm felt like it was on fire and simultaneously being pricked with a thousand death pins. I had swam right through the tentacles of a jellyfish.

Now back home, I have been stung on more than one occasion, and never has the pain or discomfort lasted more than 10 minutes or so. Even earlier that day, on my journey to Waygook island, I had felt a sting on my knee, but it disappeared rather quickly.

I jumped out of the water to see my arm rapidly swelling up. I could see where the jellyfish stung my flesh, as it was white and bubbly. I have a fairly high pain tolerance, but this was not subsiding and was spreading to the entirety of my left arm.

Joel, a guy who was also in the frisbee game, had been stung years ago and jumped into action. He helped take me to the lifeguard stand, where he said they would likely have ammonia to neutralize the burn.

Well the lifeguards had no such thing, but I sat there with ice as Joel and I laughed at anger guard as he sat there stewing at us. The guards insisted that I go to the hospital, to which I replied "aniyo, Soju joseyo." translation "no, I want to drink." They finally understood that a hospital trip would really disrupt the long night of drinking I had planned ahead, they let me go, saying if I became nauseous or felt dizzy to immediately seek help.

The only problem was the ice did nothing for the pain, and as I walked back to base camp, I remembered hearing about an alternative way to neutralize the sting....

"Hey....does anyone need to pee?!"

Now if you had told me that morning, that I would be getting pissed on, I would have laughed and thought, oh what a silly thing to say! How silly! What a silly thing!

But there I was, arm burning an swollen, with my friend Charle and y new friend Chris (we bonded quickly) preparing for the first Golden Shower of my life. We were outside the bathhouse, amidst the stares of the Koreans (only their eyes were uncovered) preparing for the urine bath I was about to endure. Charle, beig a female, took the courtesy to pee into a coke bottle ahead of time, and we poured the 98.6 degree liquid over the top of the sting. Because the tentacle had wrapped all around my arm, and because I was trying to limit the amount of excess body juice that would be getting all over the rest of my body, Chris was crucial in aiming for the underarm. I stood up, with my arm fully outstretched, my eyes closed, and ready for the taking. Chris had no stage fright, and soon my sting was fully covered in urine. Fortunately and unfortunately, both friends had been evidently dehydrated that day, so the antidote was pungent and concentrated.

Nonetheless the golden shower did help the sting a bit, and mostly made for a good story. The rest of the night went off fairly smoothly: drinking, night swimming, cooking on the fire, playing guitar, and vowing that I would seek revenge on the jellyfish who did this to me. I will find you one day you little blobby jerk...and when I do, I will pee all over you and your jelly family.

The next morning we awoke in our saunas, hungover, shamed and dirty, and prepared to pack up for our journey home. I was in desperate need for a shower (fear not, I did wash the pee off my arm after the sprinkling incident). We bid everyone adieu, and drive-of-shamed it back to Miryang. We were tired, salty, tan, smelly, and still a little drunk, but mostly happy that we were probably the strangest group of people the covered Koreans have ever witnessed in their heavily visored lives.

English Camp

Poor little Korean Kids.

Shortly after my arrival in this fine country, I had a bit of a crash course in the life of a Korean student. Being a teacher, I felt it necessary to understand the ins and outs of the education system here, but was a bit surprised at what I found out....

The first shocking fact came within my first week. It was here, in my class, that I found out that corporal punishment is still alive and well in the classrooms of Korea. If a student is acting out, it is perfectly acceptable, nay encouraged, to smack him or her in the back or face. Occasionally, students receive a swift kick to the side, or the friendlier pinch on the neck. Sometimes it is a more lighthearted slap, other times it is a beating that leaves the kid in tears. I have seen teachers even reward the good students by letting them stand up and smack around the bad student.

Needless to say, this was a bit of a shock at first, but what is arguably more shocking is how quickly I became unphased by such actions. In fact, I didn't even think about it until the other night when I was on the phone with Debbie and explained to he these classroom activities. "Ya Kiddin me Annieeee" she exclaimed in her Tauntonesque accent, "isn't that a little hahhhrsh?"

Well yes ma, it is, but to be honest, it is the least of a Korean students worries.

When it comes to physical abuse in Korea, well that's a whole other post entirely. But when it comes to educational abuse (for lack of a better term) quite frankly, being a Korean student suuuuccckkksss.

When researching a teaching opportunity in Korea, you are faced with two main options, public or private. I work for the public schools, so technically I am a Korean government employee with all the benefits and protections clearly stated in my contract. Private gigs, at places called "hagwons" tend to have a bad rap by being a bit shadier, because they are businesses and tend to be a bit more labor intensive.

You see, the average Korean student goes to school from 8:30 am to 2:30 pm every day. Then, they go immediately to hagwons for further instruction, often coming home past 10pm. Basically, a Korean kid is studying from 8:30 to 10 everyday, and typically when they finish, they go home, do homework (or play computer games, but more on that another day) and go to sleep.

The education system here is broken into trimesters. The first trimester begins around May. The kids receive summer "break" for about a month in August, then they begin again end of August/ early September. There are log holiday weekends sprinkled throughout the year, then they get winter break for December or January, come back for a couple weeks, another break, then may semester begins.

However, their breaks are merely a facade, as often they continue to go to hagwons daily...or they are forced to go to...dun dun dun...English camp.

English camp is a week of in-classroom activity that is supposed to be an intensive language acquisition program...which it rarely is. The native English teachers are fully in charge and have to develop the lessons..which usually involve games, movies and minimal educational absorption.

This break, I have a total of 3 weeks of English camp. I just completed the camp for the city office of education, and now I have two weeks of camp for my school (which has basically been me babysitting the one or two kids who show up).

For the Education office camp, all the foreigners here in Miryang (there's about 16 of us) got together for a week of enriching the minds of the Asian youth. We all paired up and chose both a topic, and a 7- minute "play" that our students would be performing in a grand closing ceremony.

Naturally I chose the hit theatrical production titled "goiter man" for our young thespians. If you are wondering what goiter man is about...just think about the title..it will lead your way.

Anyways, our topic was culture, and I basically just spent time telling the kids about American and Italian food and played a game. The week was boiling hot, so I taught all students to say "It's wicked hot out heaaaaahhh." My class was very cute, and though it was a week, we all created a solid bond and they told me they would miss me. ::tear:: I even got a few hugs out of the deal!

At one point, Greg and I told the students that we were married and had 2 children named Shadynasty and Ezekiel. The students were shocked beyond belief, and fell for our charade hook line and sinker.

The last day, the goiters were ready, we had painted our faces, and our little play went off without a hitch..except for all the hitches that went off. But all in all the kids had a great week.

What made me sad though, was that a lot of these children were having fun for the first time in a long time within a classroom environment. Because this camp was for the most gifted of the students, most of them spend their days in schools and hagwons, trying to constantly appease their parents dissatisfaction. Some of them don't get hugs on a daily basis, and don't even get a "good job" or a paper on the refrigerator from their parents. This causes two interesting things about Korean students, 1) spontaneous crying and 2) the highest suicide rate in the world.

To elaborate on the first point, every day I have a cryer. Usually it is about something ridiculously stupid. Now, when the little 3rd graders start crying, I try and comfort them a little bit. But when the 6th grade boys are having a sobfest, I just tell them to walk it off. So let's look at the English Camp, at one point, a bunch of girls were accusing a boy about having many girlfriends. He got embarrassed and stormed out of the class. I gave him a minute or two, and went to go find him crying on the staircase. I sat next to him and asked "Tom*  What is wrong?" To which he explained the situation about the girlfriends and he had a best friend who was a girl but they were not in love. I explained to him how the girls in the class probably had a huge crush on him, and how next time they say things like that, for him to respond "Of course I have ton's of girlfriends, I am awesome!" I gave him candy, patted him on the back, and sent him back into the classroom. Problem Solved.

But onto the bigger problem. Because of the insane amount of stress put on these students, there are constantly reports about preteens and teenagers committing suicide. During test days, they have extra street guards out just to make sure kids don't jump in front of cars. A lot of them decide that they just can't take the pressure anymore and try and end their lives. It's insanely sad, but what is also sad is the fact that Koreans don't change their ways to better the system and decrease the suicide rate. Reduce Hagwon time, or allow for more time off during vacation. Do not put such pressure on standardized tests, or try and praise a student for doing a good job. I know this is all radical and crazy sounding, but sometimes Koreans lack that type of problem solving ability.

Anyways, I have about a week left of my school's English camp. Yesterday I had the students all dancing the electric slide and the cotton-eyed joe around the classroom because we had a lesson in line dancing, because screw learning, it's camp time!

Things Koreans Like Part 1.

So in another series of postings, I will be investigating some of the various like of the general Korean populus. The list is long, and continues to grow, but I will be updating throughout my journey here in the Far East.

1) Kimchi.

For those of you unaware of Kimchi, it could also be known as the national pride of Korea. It is eaten at every meal, and constantly praised for its miraculous health benefits. Now for those of you unaware of what Kimchi actually is...it is fermented cabbage mixed with spices. It tastes like a soggy, spicy piece of garlic, and causes your breath to smell like the seventh layer of hell. One would think it would be easy to avoid such a food, but they want to shove it down your throat like its going out of style. They love to talk about all the good bacteria in it, and how it cures all these diseases and stuff. All I know, is that it is seriously reeking havoc on my breath. 


2) Driving like idiots.

I have LITERALLY seen someone driving full speed on the wrong side of the road here. They have no sense of right of way, they use their horns randomly and inappropriately, they ride the brakes, and stop for no reason. They will pull a u-turn in the middle of the street into oncoming traffic. They will ride with a family of 4 on a moped, with no helmets...I have seen a man driving a scooter while holding a baby...all helmet-less. I have thought my life would end in a taxi cab in numerous occasions now. There is no stopping for pedestrians at walkways, or stopping at red lights even. And when they do stop, they ALWAYS put the car in park and put the ebrake up. They always back into parking spaces. It is so bizarre. So the stereotypes about Asian drivers...they are ALL true.

3) Angry Birds and Hello Kitty.

There is a straight up OBSESSION with Angry Birds and Hello Kitty. Now, I was expecting the Hello Kitty...this being Asia and all... but the Angry Birds caught me for surprise. As far as copyright infringement goes...that's a whole other topic...but all I know is that the little birds and pigs are on EVERYTHING...socks, bags, clothes, bus cards, food, commercials...everything.

3) Relationships.

Relationships in Korea are the worst. I mean the worst. First off, the society is not focused around "sexiness" like the west is. In the west, Sexy sells...and people try and appear sexier to attract the opposite sex. Nay, Korea is the land of the Cute. Cute is what gets people going. Hair bows, soft giggling, headbands, t-shirts with puppies on it. And one of the cutest things a couple can do.....matching outfits. I kid you not, couplewear is all the rage here. the first time I saw it, I assumed it was accidental. It's not. It is on purpose. They wear matching outfits. Everyday. Down to the shoes. It's sickening.

4) Nonsensical T-Shirts

The current "in" style here in Korea is T-shirts with English phrases on it. This would be fine....if they could understand what they are wearing. I guess it all started my first weekend here, I was waiting outside the train station in Busan when I saw a young teenage girl with a t-shirt that said "Free Mustache Rides." The poor girl must have felt uncomfortable as I stood and laughed at her. Some other gems have been a teacher with a shirt reading "Bitch, Please" and the various "Boston Massachubatts" shirts I seem to see everywhere.

5) Spam

I am not talking about junk emails here. I mean spam, as in the mystery meat in the can. For a health-obsessed nation, this particular product seems a bit out of place. They love it tho. It's in everything, it is sold everywhere. They have Spam Gift packs for crying out sakes! I was told that during the Korean War, Korean people would eat rations sent in for the American Troops, thus introducing and injecting spam into local Korean dishes. They chow down on spam like its a filet mignon, and I don't have the heart to tell them that it is the official delicacy of trailer parks across the nation.

Keep an eye out for more to come.

Mudfest

This weekend was an event known only as "Mudfest."

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, what exactly is mudfest? Well, if you are one of those people, slap yourself in the face. Mudfest is exactly what you think it is, exactly what it sounds like....a festival of mud.

Now mudfest is in Boryeong, which is a bit of a hike from Milyang, and Ingrid, Charle and I were slated to go there with a crew from Goechang. On Friday evening, the pilgrimage began.

First we were to take the train to Daegu. There we had a single mission to retrieve my lost camera (gotta love Korean honesty) which was at a bar I got properly wasted at a few weeks back. Camera in hand, it was time to take the bus to Goechang for the night.

Now because we had to wake up early for the 3 hour ride to Boryeong in the morning we figured we would take it easy Friday. 3 Soju cocktails and one in the morning later, Charle and I were snuggled up for approximately 4 hours of sleep (I was little spoon).

Bright and early we rose, got on the bus, and arrived at our "hotel", or rather, the floor space we would call our beds later, at around 10:00 am. We promptly donned our matching red t-shirts, gave each other marker tattoos, and took jäger shots.

By noon we were all quite tipsy.

I had befriended some Phillipinos in the window of a chicken restaurant, and was trying to play matchmaker with some of my friends. However, in our marker tattooing brilliance, we decided to get each others phone numbers painted on our arm ("in case we get lost!") the rest of the day involved many phone calls from mysterious strangers all asking for the wrong people.

Then we made our way to the beach, promptly jumped in the ocean, took a picture with a Korean guy dressed as a cow, and moved towards the mud.

The scene at mudfest was something out of Woodstock. People were rolling around in mud pits, smearing mud all over each other, and then jumping in the ocean and cleaning it off to do it all over again. I was cornering the beach ball market by using my superior dart skills to win prizes, use the prizes to make friends, and watch as both friends and prizes disappeared into the muddy unknown.

I found myself as the ringleader of a group of Army men that I convinced to not only play beach volleyball with me, but to buy my bag cocktails for the rest of the day. We created a mega group: the Goechang crew, the Milyang Ladies, the Army men, and other various stragglers along the way.

After an afternoon of debauchery, we decided to get food. We went to a restaurant, and as we often do, pointed to several pictures of food that looks appetizing. We got a plate of what appeared to be shellfish of sorts, mixed with peppers and onions. I tried to eat a few of these but they were just too chewy and tough.

That's when my friend Oliver, as if on cue, entered the restaurant. He is much more well versed in the ways of Korean dining than I, and he looked at the dish with much skepticism. It was then he proclaimed in his New Zealand accent, "I think that's a plate of chicken assholes mate." We giggled at the sillyness until we called the waitress over, pointed to the plate and to our bums, and she confirmed our fears.

We had eaten sphincters.

We left the restaurant in shame, now determined to make it to a bar. After much searching, we found everyplace was way overpriced, and it had started to rain.

The obvious solution was to buy bag cocktails, beers and fireworks and head down to the beach. On our walk over, a fireworks display had erupted, and cheers of Amurica poured out as the migukins sang the national anthem. Amidst this I got hit by a stray coconut....but somethings just cant be explained.

The great thing about mudfest (besides the free coconut) was that there were literally thousands of people there, but it was like we only kept seeing the same 3 groups. In fact, if someone went missing or strayed, all you had to do was will them into existence and they would magically appear. The night was filled with rain street dancing, winning stuffed animals, and other antics, until I decided to call it a nice and crawled back to then"hotel" to curl up in the fetal position, soaked from head to toe, asleep on a hard wood floor.

Now it's important to note, at the beginning of the day I looked great, like Charlize Theron at a red carpet affair. By the end of the day, I looked like her oscar winning performance in "monster". I'm telling you, homegirl looked beat. But it didn't matter, because at mudfest, none of that matters. All that matters is the rain, the mud, the Phillipinos and the beach balls that i lost to a ravenous muddy crowd. Oh ya....and Amurrica.

I would tell you about my weekend in Daegu...

But that would be too much of the same old same old.

Although if anyone has found my camera please let me know.

Nay, I shall not tell you of last weekends escapades for I have discovered something far more profound, far more life-changing, and far more rocktastic than cocktails in a bag (which they sell on the street here...so awesome).

My friends... I give you.... Extreme Ironing.

http://www.extremeironing.com/

So years ago, a british man, who goes by "Steam" had a rough day at work. He wanted to go outside and enjoy the nature, and figured he would kill 2 birds with 1 stone....Extreme Ironing was born.

My dear friends, I believe this is truly my calling. Lord knows I can't shoot a basketball, I have not the hand-eye coordination for tennis, and I can't run for the life of me...but iron I can...and I will....for...

I Am the Wrinkle Warrior!

I have officially registered as an Extreme Ironist, and my biography is as follows:

"I used to live a very dark life, surrounded by steamers and racks of clothing. I knew things needed to change, so I kicked the steamer to the side, and became dedicated to the cause of Wrinkle Removal in the harshest of conditions."

I vow, as an Iron Enthusiast, to never let wrinkles win. I vow to press shirts so crisply they can stand on their own. I wish not to criticze those that iron in their living room, but instead inspire them to fabricate a grander plan, to think outside of the board and go after a greater iron challenge! Think not what your care instructions will do for you, think of what you will do for your care instructions! Clothing tags see no limitations. Go forth, young ironers! Follow me, as your Wrinkle Warrior, and I will not leave any mountain un-pressed, any river rippled, any sport unpleated!

FEAR ME WORLD, I WILL CUT A STITCH!

Apologies for embodying the American steretype

Dear Miryang,

I'm sorry.

I know you may not have taken particular offense to my actions on Friday night, but I am aware that I made a spectacle of myself in your quiet and peaceful streets and family run establishments.

I am sorry for pounding beers and Soju shots at Coco Rico and making loud an inappropriate conversation as myself and the other foreigners sat on the patio deck.

I am sorry for blacking out as soon as we relocated to the interior of Coco Rico. The following apologies will be for what happened during that mysterious hour that I do not recall.

I am sorry for making my friends very uncomfortable by speaking French poorly and urging them to start chanting various exclamations with no success. I am sorry for consistently telling everyone how good looking they were and how wonderful we were because we all had nice teeth and good bone structure. It is unfortunate that I spoke loudly of my liberal political opinions and my desire to organize and host a beer olympics this summer. I am sorry for singling out the new friends I made by accusing them of being a part of a private Hagwon underground riddled with gambling, prostitution, violence and territory wars. My apologies for insisting that it is time to "mul" it, which is the Korean word for water, and was neither used or pronounced correctly.

I am also sorry to the people at Coco Rico. I am sorry for allowing my drunk self to interrupt your dining experience by practicing how to say hello in Korean and introducing myself. I am sorry to the staff for making them hug me and telling them how beautiful they were as we held hands to and from the bathroom.

Also, I am sorry that the song "call me maybe" is so good, and I felt the need to stand up and sing it loudly to the entire restaurant.

I am sorry for insisting upon a street photo shoot, and dragging it out due to an inability to focus. To the taxi driver who apparently took us to the singing room, I am sure that I was unruly in the backseat.

To the other people at the No Ray Bang, I am sorry for screaming Whitney Houston at the top of my lungs and insisting that Backstreet Boys and Gloria Gaynor were in fact, the music of our generation. I am sorry for standing and dancing on the furniture and playing the tambourine...which I am sure was not on beat. I am NOT sorry to the gross Korean man on the scooter outside who I had to push away on the street because he was being a complete jerk.

Also, I am sorry to my vocal chords, for ruining them. I am sorry to the toilet, for throwing up in it. I am sorry to my parents, for having to read about this. I am sorry to my friends who had to listen to my antics all night. I am sorry for being labeled the "american stereotype." And I am sorry for being so awesome and fun that the majority of Koreans don't know what to do.


Please forgive me Miryang, because I have a feeling that this will all happen again in due time.

Love always,

Annie G.

Ps. I am NOT sorry for my face in this picture...which is hilarious.

A Day in the Life

So I wanted to give you all a little looksie into my daily routine....

Mostly because I am feeling cocky today and I want to brag about how awesome my life is.

That and I miss you?

So my typical day:

I wake up around 7 and leave the house at 7:30.

At 7:30 I walk about 30 minutes to the train station...where I am listening to my ipod to my "Overly dramatic life walking music" playlist. This is my 30 minutes of alone time where I wake up, and also think I am living in a 90s music video. If it's raining I take the bus...I'm not THAT dramatic.

At 8:13 I catch my 8 minute train to Samnangin. Usually I meet up with Mi Gyung, the Special Education teacher, who holds my hand and giggles as we spend the 8 minutes pointing to objects along the way and exchanging the vocabulary in English and in Korean.

At 8:21 I arrive at Samnangin and walk 2 minutes to my school. There I am greeted by the students ("Hello Annie Teacher!") and my buddy Yong..who I have since renamed Jimmy. Jimmy and I exchange pleasantries and I head into the school, where I change into flipflops (Koreans do not wear shoes inside buildings) and make my way up to "The English Zone."

First period I usually either A) Zone out on Facebook B) Send Emails C) Nurse my hangover or D) all of the above. Occassionally I will find the motivation to prepare something for my classes.

At 9:50 my 3rd graders come in. Their homeroom teachers, an older man who speaks NO english and wears suspenders, drop them off and hangs out in the hallway in case any of them get too far out of line. I then proceed to have them repeat phrases after me, play games, dance around, and do my bidding.

After 2nd period, students are made to walk around in circles outside for excersise. The fat students are encouraged to run. I am not kidding.

3rd period brings in my 4th graders, who are the most colorful group. I usually make them act out plays and choreograph dance routines.

5th graders may be my favorite. They are a very intelligent class, and they like to make jokes and laugh at the ridiculously awkward videos I am forced to show them.

Then...there is lunch. The great adventure of the day. Sometimes it is delicious. Sometimes you are pulling tentacles out of your teeth. Lunch is always followed by a school wide brushing of the teeth. It is BYOB of course (bring your own brush).

The 6th graders occassionally show up. Their homeroom teacher is almost fluent in English, so they sometimes don't need me to teach them anything. When they do show up, the class is very fun, though they usually make side handed comments regarding a potential relationship with me and their teacher, which is always sufficiently uncomfortable.

Then...the best part of the day...the kindergarteners. I usually walk into the kindergarten and find them all lying on the floor, sprawled out (I am unsure why as both kindergarten teachers speak no english). They look at me with their little round faces and light up as if I am Buddha's gift of creation. "Annie Teacher you are so beautiful!!!" They cheer, as I fight back the tears of cute overload. I tell them they are beautiful and they giggle. Then I make them point to things and say what it is. "BLUE TABLE" "ORANGE CLOCK" YELLOW SOCK" "ANGRY BIRD". Then I sit them down and show them shapes and they repeat after me as the squirm around on the floor like little bugs. Finally, I put on music and they dance around me like I am some Korean Pied Piper. Then I high five them and tell them I will see them next time. Later in the day I find them hidden in various locations throughout the school: on the slide, in a cubbyhole, in the library, on the stairs eating ants..etc.

Typically the rest of the afternoon is filled with either good ol' Annie alone time, or my second grade entourage comes to visit me. I challenge the entourage to games of Temple Run, Angry Birds, or I make them dance to American Classics like "Single Ladies" or "Call me Maybe" (ok call me maybe is a Canadian song, but Canada is basically America. SUCK ON THAT CANADA!). Sometimes I go find Jimmy and he teaches me Korean. Other times my Principal finds me, and HE teaches me Korean...however he focuses on teaching me how to order alcohol at bars.

Usually around 3, Danny finds me somehow and tells me of an activity I am encouraged to participate in. Sometimes it's mountain climbing. Other times it is staff-wide volleyball.

During Volleyball, we all suit up and divide into teams. We kick all of the students off the gym floor and make them keep score and bring us water, alcohol and food (again I am not joking).

This is followed by an INTENSE game of volleyball where people have gotten balls spiked at their faces, serves bounced off the backs of their craniums, glasses broken, bruises, curds, stains, you name it. typically we will play for an hour or so, take a beer and Soju break, then play for another hour. Often times my principal will call out "hey Annie" and serve it straight for me. Mostly I giggle because the Koreans have adopted American volleyball verbiage and will call out "nice-ah serve-ah" or "mine-ah" or just tell me that I am a "good vorreybarr prayer" which is always a nice compliment.

On mountain climbing days, we trek up a local hiking trail which is like a straight vertical incline. At the top we drink and eat barbecue pork and have long conversations about life, politics, nature....well at least that's what I assume is going on....because everyone is just speaking Korean. Occasionally I can tell hey are
Talking about me due to general pointing in my direction or saying my name, but I enjoy the smaller mysteries in life and don't pressure to ask what exactly they are saying about the crazy "waygook" teacher.

After a long day of awesomeness I go home around 5, where I meet up either the other foreigners and have dinner, go shopping, go for a walk or read by the river. Sometimes I will sit and think to myself what a problem it will be when one day I will have to have a real person job, where I don't hang out with kobabies everyday, where I can't drink on the job with my boss, where we don't play games after hours or hike up mountains. What will I do when I have to actually grow up and settle down and live in reality?

But mostly I just reflect at the craziness of the past year and how lucky I feel to have such cool experiences...even if I don't know what anyone is saying to me ever. Sometimes I think it's better that way.

Lunch

Today I went to lunch.

I thought I was eating noodles.

Upon further inspection I found it was little salted eels.

One of them got lodged in my tooth.

Thank the lord almighty for floss.

An insiders glimpse of Korea...part 2

If there is one thing I am already sure of here in Korea...

...it is IMPOSSIBLE to guess anyone's age here.

Maybe it's the obsession over sun protection. Or maybe Korean people just don't stop aging after 17, but I swear there is NO WAY of knowing how old anyone is...and it's almost frightening.

For example, today my adorable coworker Yong was helping me learn Korean (which, may I add, is as difficult as learning how to play piano from Helen Keller). I asked him how old he was. Now, by my standards, Yong doesn't look a day over 19, but knowing he is Korean and works with me, I figured a safe estimate was 25.

Homeboy is 35 years old.


Let me also preface this with the fact that Koreans count age slightly differently than we do back in the land of the red white and barbecue. Say you are born in November here in Korea, at the dawn of the new year, you are considered 1 year old. Then come the following November you turn 2. So most Koreans will quote you an age that is one year older than if we were going to ID them at a bar (which we surely would because they all look so young).

Koreans are very healthy people (excluding the chain smoking, public loogie hocking, and the hours spent playing video games in computer cafes). They are very active, constantly walking around and exercising. They eat healthy, and everything they do or say they will follow with the line "It is good for your hearth." They mean health. Sometimes l sounds can be vicious. Ask them to talk about their "whole body."

They are obsessed with shielding their skin from the sun. Not only do they appreciate the health benefits of not looking like a piece of leather, a la USA, but also, if your skin is darker than it indicates you likely work on a farm and are of a lower social ranking.

My guess is these minor obsessions, partnered with the apparent inability to grow body hair, is the reason for perplexing ages.

Another one of my teachers is 31, married with a daughter. Thought he was 20 at most.

One of the women teachers was a little older. I though maybe 40. She is 56.

It also makes me wonder about these old men and ladies I see walking the streets (and occasionally dumping in the streets....see glimpse part 1). How old are they?! If I think they are 70 then there is a good chance they are over 100.

Maybe it's all the gimchi, or maybe they are just doing something right that we are missing out on. I mean, I figured our culture of fried food and childhood obesity was on the right track...but perhaps we should take a step back and reassess our priorities in the west....and always ID a Korean because that shit is a mystery.


In an unrelated note, these are some of my second grade cronies. I made them dance to "Call me maybe" and "single ladies"....old habits die hard.

Hiking Mountains and Befriending Buddhist Monks

Poor Greg.

Greg is my 6'7" South African neighbor. He lives right next door to me, and within a month's time I am sure he is going to regret his living arrangements enormously.

Every day I knock on Greg's door with a new adventure. "Greg let's go to dinner! Greg let's go to the river! Greg let's go pound beers!"

Unfortunately for Greg, I am not asking if he wishes to partake in these activities with me, nay, I am demanding. Sometimes he tries to get out of things, "Not today Annie, I am going to sit and watch movies." Dear dear Greg, if only it was that easy to get out of such things!

So Saturday I knock on Greg's door and tell him that Daucy and I are going to climb the temple at 3:00. The temple is about a 5 minute walk from my door, and sits atop a mountain overlooking the Miryang River. Now, because we had spent Friday Night drinking, Greg was hesitant to do this, however after much peer pressure he obliged. We began a climb to the top, and found that we stumbled upon a major traditional ceremony up by the temple. There were Korean dancers, women wielding swords, singers, tae kwon do masters....basically it was rad.

We sat in the temple and watched, and because we are the obvious foreigners, we are just as entertaining for them. People talked with us, took pictures of us, and laughed with us. We continued up the mountain until we got to a big brick wall at the top. We passed a few crazy looking bugs and animals along the way.

"Greg are any of these bugs poisonous?"

"No Annie, there are not many things in Korea that can harm you...including the people."

Saturday night was another night of drinking in a dingy pool hall...and the next day I was ready for another adventure.

Rich from Minnesota told me of a decent hike a little ways down the road.

"Greg, Rich and I are going on another hike at 3 today."

Now what I didn't know is how seriously Koreans take their hiking. We are all dressed in regular clothes and sneakers, with a couple of bottles of water between us. All the Koreans on the mountain are dressed to the nines in visors, sunglasses, full body gear, visors, backpacks...etc.

After a grueling 2 hour hike up the mountain, we reached the summit, and saw the beautiful scenery of Milyang, and immediately forgot about all the mouthbreathing it took to get there. On the way down, we were "Anyong Ha-se-yo"ing everyone, riding on the high of our recent accomplishment, when all of a sudden we here an American voice.

"Hello How's it going."

We did a double take, and saw a Buddhist Monk, who we later will find out is originally from Fargo. He was very kind and told us the direction to go to his temple and get water. Once we arrived at the temple, we were greeted by a traditional Korean buddhist monk....on a Smartphone, which he handed to us. It was our friend from the mountain top! We told him our information and I gave him my email because I want to arrange a temple stay. The monk took us into a cave in the side of the temple, lit completely with lanterns and lights, and gave us bananas and pears. Then he took us to the top of the temple, where he served us Rose tea and nuts as we looked out the giant window to the Mountain.

We talked for a while, and then our friend called us back and invited us back for dinner later this week.

So lets be honest, there is a 90% chance I am going to accidentally become a buddhist at some point this year....and I am pumped!!!

Peace
Annie G.

An insiders glimpse of korea...part 1

OK so to get a better understanding of my everyday, I would like to share a series of cultural insights with you to better paint the picture.

It is hard to find where to begin, it is like living in a cartoon over here.

Currently, I do not have internet in my apartment. In fact, I type now surrounded by teenage boys playing hours of computer games in a PC room. I don't much mind that there is no internet, as it gives me time to focus on myself, listen to music, try and learn Korean, and other such impossible tasks.

If I walk outside my apartment door and lean out the window in the staircase, I can occassionally pick up a signal.

I am still adjusting my body the time difference here, and have been waking up a little bit early (which for any of you who know me, this is odd because I am surely NOT a morning person). Some times I walk down by the river, or near the temple where I can find some intense scenic views....



or



Beautiful right?


So yesterday morning I woke up to the sun shining through my window. The birds were chirping outside and the air was fresh. I sat up refreshed and ready for the day, thinking to myself "How lucky am I?! I have an amazing opportunity at my fingertips, I have beauty outside of my window every day! I have an amazing support system at home, in fact, let me go see if any of them sent me an email!"

I got out of bed with a spring in my step! I looked at the sun beams shining through my window. I smiled at the birds and shouted "I love you!" to the cats and dogs on the street. I spun around and danced my way into my kitchen, where I poured myself a glass of orange juice. "Whoever invented oranges was amazing! What a fantastic beverage!" I skipped to my front door and glided out like I was entering a royal ball. Down the stairs to the lobby, and I opened the window to lean out and get the signal. Oh the beauty as I opened the window and looked straight to the fabulous mountains that lay just out of reach of the city limits.

I glanced a little further down at the rooftops...such magnificent structures they are! No wonder this culture is so ancient, they have been doing it right for years.

My eyes slid down further, to the windows of the houses where laundry hung on the clotheslines, and chili peppers hung out to dry.

Then I looked down, to wear the gardens are usually growing in peoples front yards, and bicycles are perched ever so poetically against picket fences.

And instead I just saw an old woman, crouched down, confused face, dropped trousers, taking a dump right in the middle road.

And now the fun begins...

First day of school

Cue scene
School, in the middle of nowhere
No AC
About 200 screaming Korean children
1 foreigner (me)
1 other English speaker
1 self-proclaimed alcoholic principal

Recipe for success.

I walked to my school (which I found by pure dumb luck because I had no directions there) and walked in to be greeted by Danny, and the other teachers and students. They had a morning meeting in the auditorium, where I was pushed on stage to greet them and introduce myself. Then I was shown to my classroom

My class was scheduled to begin at 10:50. Naturally at 930 the bell chimed with my students all in their seats. With no books, no curriculum at hand, and no instruction from the co-teachers, I just had to wing it.

I introduced myself, told them about where I am from, asked them their names, and what they knew about America and what they could tell me about Korea.

Then I opened up the floor for questions.

Students- "teacher how old are you?"
Me-"How old do you think I am?"
S- "100!"
M-"I am 24"
S- "Our teacher is 25!"
M- "cool"
S- "Teacher do you have boyfriend?"
M-"No students, I do not have a boyfriend"
S-"do you like our teacher? He can be your boyfriend!"

Awkwardness ensued.

Of course, I thought it was hilarious and the kids are so adorable. They kept looking at me and miming big eyes with their hands! They also called me lord of the rings because of my abundance of jewelry.

Danny came in and whisked me away to a meeting that apparently was going on at the department of education that I was supposed to attend.

This was where I met all my new Miryang friends!
Most of the other foreigners in this town are from South Africa, and are a blast! We all met up, discussed curriculum, went to dinner, and planned to meet up the next evening with a few other americans and British in the town.

After Pregaming in my apartment with my new south African friends, we pounded 4 bottles of soju, and met up with the others at a chicken restaurant.

Like in turkey, one of the fun things about meetups here are the old school tactics of communication. For example, I got home to my door with a note from my South African neighbor Greg that said "meet outside at 815 for beers with Rich." Its like every day is a secret mission.

We pounded another 6 or 7 bottles of soju at the chicken restaurant and then decided that since it has been a week since my arrival in Korea, we needed to go to a "no ray bang" which is a singing room. Basically, you get a bunch of people together, preferably drunk people, and go to a little room with microphones, a karaoke list, and a tv screen, and a bunch of beers that you smuggle in.

It then deteriorates into a crazy scene of drunken debauchery where people are simultaneously passing out, dancing on seats, and singing bad karaoke songs.

I knew I would like it here.......

A weekend in Busan

OK, before I explain the weekend at the Sand Festival, I must explain a facet of my personality known only as "The G."

Many of you have met The G in the past, or seen The G's antics whether it be online or on stage at a Parliament Funkadelic show. But for those of you who are not familiar with The G, she is my party persona, and when The G is out to party...she goes hard. Not only that, but The G seems to somehow get herself into the craziest of situations.
The G was on hiatus for a little while this past year, but since January she has been back in full force, and lets just say that international boundaries do not hold The G back.
So this weekend was the Sand Festival in Busan...

I went to meet up with a lovely girl who I had connected with through the recruiter I am working with. We met up in Busan and walked around, meeting up with some of her other Teacher friends, and looking at the sand sculptures.

First post-pregaming stop was at "Thursdays Party" which is an acceptable bar to go to on any day of the week. We sat next to a group of Koreans who had just gone to the Busan Giants baseball game. Also, let me rephrase, we sat next to some Koreans and a Japanese girl. We knew she was Japanese because one of the Korean boys kept saying "She is Japanese!!!"

Also, let me interject- gin and tonics here are NOT what I am used to.

But nay, twas not the gin that did me in, for here in Korea they are famous for their Soju, a substance that smells like rubbing alcohol and causes a drunk that is unlike anything else. If there is one thing I am already sure about in Korea, Soju will be my eventual demise.

After Thursdays party we went to "Blue Monkey" a club CRAWLING with foreigners doing crazy things. Naturally I made a b-line to the stage where I spent the majority of the night (when I wasnt on the tables)

Finally it was time to leave, and the scene outside Blue Monkey was just as insane as what was inside. Foreigners crowding the streets, dancing on cars, standing in front of traffic, sleeping outside of stores. I looked around and knew then that coming to Korea was the best idea of my life.

The next morning I decided to travel back to beautiful haeundae beach for a lovely day of self reflection and realization.

"where are you from!" asked the young girl and her mother walking next to me on the sidewalk.

"I am from America" I replied.

"Ahhh I love Engrish!!"

Thus began my day with my new little Korean friends.

They were lovely people, and I introduced myself. They introduced themselves too, but upon hearing their names and struggling for pronunciation, the young girl said I could just call her "Betty."

Betty and her mom were so nice, we walked up the beach and explored the sand festival. At one point they shuttled me into a tent filled with children, I was told to sit down with the children to paint a windchime.

We then went to an observatory on the beach where the second APEC summit was held. It was a breathtaking view of the beach and of Busan. Betty and her mom would point to things and tell me the Korean word, and I would tell them the English equivalent. After a few hours of this, I found I needed to get back to Miryang, and we went to lunch, where Betty's mother told me I was her new sister, followed by a tearful goodbye at the train station.

I recently received an email from Betty inviting me back for dinner with her family. I can't wait!

Off to the next adventure

May 29th, 2012

So some of you may now know that I am currently jetsetting off to South Korea. After the strangest 6 months of my life culminated into the most bizarre May on the record, I have accepted a position as a public school ESL teacher in Miryang, or "secret sunshine."

Similar to my position in Turkey, I will be spending my days living ethnically ambiguous in a country with a homogenous facebook-obsessed population and a tumultuos past history.

Also, I may not have completely thought this one through.

The good news is that I have not (yet) been kidnapped and sold into the sex slave industry, surviving on the only hope that Liam Neison will come save me...

I arrived in Busan and was met by my petite British recruiter Alistair, who is fabulously English. He took me to my hotel where I was to meet him the following day at 9am sharp. I fell asleep after a 26 hour journey to the Korean home shopping network.

In the morning, Alistair, myself, and 2 other teachers rallied together to go to the education office where we were to meet our Korean co-teachers, or rather, my new built in best friend. His name is "Danny", he barely speaks english, and he wears a vest. Needless to say, the odds were in my favor in this one.

Danny took my paperwork and instructed me that we will be going to get my health check. We rolled out of the education office bumpin to flo-ridas "low" and discussed our mutual liking of drinking, dancing and shopping. The health check was....interesting, as I had to pee in a Dixie cup and then get weight, height, eyes, ears, etc checked in front of an audience of people who were also waiting for their check. To clear things up, I didn't pee in the dixie cup in front of everyone....

My historically small veins were massacred during my "blood correction" which involved 5 minutes of being multiply stabbed by a syringe (wait until you see my Bruise!).

After assuring the doctor I had no diseases, Danny and I left on route to Busan where I would get my alien registration card. We talked in the car of many things: hometowns, music, dating life, sports. I even explained to him the meaning of "piece of me" by Brittany Spears.

Finally it was time to bring me to my new home, which is situated in Miryang, a small city completely surrounded by mountains and cut in half by a large river. We stopped at the side of the road to pick up a seemingly random Korean girl, who i then found out was "Lizzy", another English teacher at one of the 3 schools I will be teaching at. They were both very kind, helping me move in and promising we would all party soon, but I had to get some sleep first.
I woke up at 3:30 am Korean time and unpacked all of my stuff in my new bachelorette pad. After getting ready, I began what I like to call "the Korean hunger games."

In many of the larger cities, English signage is quite prevalent. In Miryang,the only sign I have found thus far is for a restaurant called "chicken for my family" and because my family is halfway around the world, I decided to skip this one.

Many of the restaurants seemed closed and/or guaranteed to give me food poisoning. I wandered my way into an open door with clean tables and immediately realized that I had absolutely no command over even the basic of Korean phrases. So instead, I smiled, motioned that I wanted food, sat down and hoped for the best.

The nice korean man prepared some sort of cold noodle dish, even showing me how to eat it, and laughed at the stupid American as she fumbled with the chopsticks until he brought me a fork. I "kamsahamnida"ed him as I continued on my journey of city exploration.

Solid first 48 hours.