Awkward Conversations

Some of you may be my friend on Facebook. If you are, you probably saw a recent status post regarding a certain Uzbek at my school. It was in the form of a hypothetical letter. For those of you who didn't see it, I shall copy that language here:

Dear Uzbek man who happens to be at my place of work today, 

While I was initially confused at your presence in my school, my confused stare was not an invitation for you to wait outside my classroom door, staring inside the window until you got my attention and I almost peed my pants from fear. Thank you for your attempt to speak Korean and broken English to me, asking how many children I have and when we can go to a restaurant together. While I am mildly intrigued about how you randomly showed up here, my interest is not piqued enough to continue this horrendously awkward conversation where you keep telling me you like my face and spelling out "LOVE" in the air and pointing at me. At this point, I am compelled to make up a "Hey I Just met you, and this is crazy.." joke...but it would surely go over your head, leaving me further disappointed and unwilling to mime my way through explanation of said joke.

Anyways, thanks for the memories. I am sure I will see you on the staircase again soon.

Until We Meet Again,

Annie G.

Unfortunately, this is not an isolated occurrence. Time and time again in my travels, I experience similar situations of awkward smiling and nodding and broken pick up lines. Here in Korea, it has been particularly frequent. You see, often times, especially in areas where cultural diversity is severely lacking, people see someone who doesn't look like the rest of the crowd and think it is an open invitation for strained conversation and unwelcome come-ons. It often occurs here with older Korean men, and/or with people who have not-so-subtle ulterior-motives to simply try and learn English. However, it also happens with other foreigners who see a not-so-familiar face in hopes that our unspoken connection as "Waygookins" can bridge the glaring language barrier. 

ABP- it doesn't. 

I wish I could organize a conference with all of these awkward-conversation offenders and explain. Look, I get it. I have big eyes. You are shocked that you find me attractive despite the fact that I am fat. You think my smile is cute, but you hate America. You immediately must ask my marital status and when we can go out. But the thing is, and you may find this shocking, but I do NOT actually want to go on a date with you. This is not me being egotistical, because I am egotistical and I will be the first one to admit when I enjoy basking in the glory of unsolicited compliments. 

You see, I would prefer to not have a meal with a complete stranger who spends the whole time in an elaborate game of "backhanded compliments" charades. The fact of the matter is, by the time you have finished asking when we can go to dinner, we have already completed all of the conversation potential we have. That's it. We are done. It has been fun, but I don't want to willingly enter into a situation that would require at least an hour of uncomfortable giggling, painful silences, and pointing to random objects and saying their names in English. Inevitably I will just end up calling my best friend, Alcohol, and will end up saying horrendously offensive things to your misunderstanding face anyways, and no one really wants that. 

So, people of the world, don't be mistaken by my quizzical stares, my perfect camera ready smile, my laugh-track worthy conversation, and my general kindness...because despite all of this...I am, in fact, a raging bitch and I do not want to spend time with you.

For those of you unsure of where Uzbekistan is, it is a former Soviet Union Nation located in central Asia...also...it's 2013...get a map you pinheads. 

Until we meet again....

Annie G.

Holidays, Home, and a Happy New Year

This past holiday season was particularly exciting, as I made a most glorious, and highly anticipated visit home. I was able to leave Korea early Christmas morning (Koreatime) and touched down in Logan airport...early Christmas morning (EST) completing my first ever, 48 hour Christmas.

It was awesome to see my friends and my family, especially my 96 year old grandmother (shoutout to the original Ruthie O!). Also, it was great to make some solid visits to the Peking Garden... Al definitely missed me.

The best thing about home, was realizing that you can travel around the entire world, and every day you can read about and see first hand that everything is changing drastically. When you get home though, it will always be the same. The same smells, the same sights, the same people, the same bars, the same rituals and traditions, and while some people think that is a bad thing, I beg to differ.

In a world where technology boasts constant change, having a home-constant is a comfort is so important and underrated.

I consider myself really lucky to have that. I am also lucky to have had so many opportunities to travel. But here's the thing, travelling in itself does not make you better. It does not make you smarter, or more cultured, or even wiser. It doesn't necessarily make you more accepting, more open, or more enlightened. You can gain experience from all those things by staying near to home, because being in a different country can't change your mind on anything, you have to be able to change your own mind. Travelling can help you broaden your horizons, but only if you are willing to broaden them on your own. I can't tell you how many idiots I have met in my voyages who are even more racist, close minded, or culturally unaware than people who haven't even left the state, some people who have even traveled more than I have.

That being said, it was a rad visit, and it was great to see everyone.

Also, my plane caught on fire on my way back and I got on the news...so I'm basically famous now.

All in all, I'm a lucky bastard to have all these things in my life..

And here's some drunken New Year's Eve pics!