Reflections on November: The month everyone fell in love and I reached enlightenment

So last month, everyone decided to fall in love.

And I'm talking EVERYONE!

One of my 4th graders proposed to his friend. A 5th grader started wearing matching heart pendants with his 4th grade girlfriend (ever so scandalous). Chris and Emma in the 1st grade are deeply in love, and they make each other cards and then beat each other up after lunch. The 6th grade is a complete cesspool of hormones and even the kindergartners have been caught holding hands.

Needless to say, love is in the air! It's quite adorable, and typically these young couples are well regarded by their classmates (whereas in elementary schools in the US, relationships are met with ridicule and rhyming songs). The crazy thing is, some of them are like really "in love" (I just said that like Daisy from "Rock of Love" BTW). I mean, I could really see some of them making it through the long haul, and in a time where even Danny Devito is getting a divorce, it's a bit refreshing to see everyone's heart-a-flutter.

Even us "adults" are finding love, as many of my friends have found themselves in relationships, or potential relationships, this month.

Perhaps it was due to our spiritual journey a few weeks back, when the Education office had the bright idea to send the motley crew of foreign teachers over to Tongdosa for a Buddhist temple retreat.

I for one was quite excited, as I have been studying Buddhism for some time now and was eager to learn more firsthand.

AND as luck would have it, the monk that was put in charge of us was a 20 something from Seattle, and was very willing and open to all of our questions.

That being said, through the chanting, meditation, 108 bows (ouch!) and formal meals, our group of delinquents were probably the most inappropriate bunch the temple as ever seen.

The fact that the first thing we talked about with the monk was how Washington recently legalized marijuana, I'm sure he soon realized that taking care of us was going to be akin to herding cats.

The boys urged the girls to try and seduce him, the girls joined the boys in a riveting game of "floor darts" (what we made up when we were supposed to have a quiet reflection time...basically you slide across the floor on meditation mats), all of us made a spectacle of ourselves during the morning mountain climb and during formal meal...

And I had to eat a fly.

During the formal meal, ALL food must be consumed. You have to eat everything you take, even using water to wash the bowls and drinking said water. Of course, as luck would have it, a fly fell into my soup. I had to quietly panic (as the whole meal was supposed to occur in silence) but I didn't know what to do. The Buddhists are vegetarians,  but also cannot leave extra food. Finally I turned to my friend Tim and showed him the dilemma in my spoon. "Eat it" he said, "You have to!"

And down the fly went.

Afterwards, we were contemplating if I had made the right choice, when my friend Anita asked the monk what the correct course of action had been. He said that I could have gone either way, but probably eating it was best, and less messy.

So ya, I ate an animal at a Buddhist temple. Oops.

All in all it was a great experience, I want to go again! But I think I will forever be too loud and obnoxious to reach complete enlightenment.

 They had us all looking sexy in the latest in Buddhist fashions.

PEACE!

Korean Winter and Avoiding Fan Death

Ahhh the first real snowfall of the season.

Today, before I had to educate my sixth grade class, we all noticed the beauty of the season's first snowfall as it gracefully glistened outside our school windows. We saw the flakes descend upon the mountain which stands directly behind my rural school. The children squealed with joy, as they all ran out after a lunch of flavored meat water soup, to gather snowballs and frolic in the wintery bliss. Such a lovely sight here in the Republic of Korea, as happy children enjoyed the weather and urged me to join them. "Teacha" they cried "snow barr pight!" I flashed back to the first snow fall when I was in Turkey and remembered how all the students and teachers giggled as we pelted each other with snowballs and laughed at the change of the seasons. I thought to recreate this moment in another country, but instead I glanced at them through the window from behind my desk, as I crouched behind a small space heater in my winter gear...

Because I was literally freezing my ass off...

You see, Koreans are very health conscious people, which is a great aspect of their society, with the exception of their viewpoints on temperature control. Walk into any Korean house in the cold, and they will be blaring their under-floor heating (exactly what it sounds like) and it's truly amazing. In the summer, the homes have full AirCon and people can rest from the sweltering heat in comfort. But the rules for school are different.

For some reason, the Korean ideas of air flow and ventilation rank higher in importance than the general well being of those contained inside of a building.

Today it is snowing, and negative 5 degrees Celsius (you can do the conversion back home) yet ALL of the windows and doors in my school are wide open. Teachers rarely put on the heat in their classrooms, and instead put one small space heater under the desk. This is particularly difficult when utilizing the lavoratory services, as every time i sit down to pee, my buttcheeks get frostbite.

Unfortunately my reluctance to urinate due to the fear of frigid porcelain, has caused me to hold it in for longer than I probably should. This, in turn, lead to a urinary tract infection. Due to a lack of communication and available medicine, this lead to a bladder infection. Due to a lack of ability to leave my bathroom or explain to a taxi driver that I needed to go the doctor, I had to be rescued my one of my Korean friends and her Mom after being stuck in my bathroom for over 3 hours. Due to miscommunications about my urinary issues, this lead to being unnecessary examined by several doctors. All of this factored into a particularly uncomfortable Wednesday  and also really adversely affected my health. Due to this uncomfortable Wednesday  I decided to overshare personal information on the interwebs and gave you readers no warning to what you would be reading about and now you all know way to much about my urinary system.

But don't blame me for this, blame Korea.

It's equally as puzzling in the summertime. The temperature outside is like a sauna, as it is very hot and humid. Yet schools are reluctant to turn on the air conditioner. Not to mention at night, there is the perpetual Korean fear of....Fan Death.

So for those of you who don't know what Fan Death is (and have not yet googled it) it is not fatalities occurred by screaming oreteens at a Justin Beiber concert. Worse...it's the idea that the majority of the country upholds, that if you sleep with a fan in your bedroom, that the fan somehow sucks up all of the good air in the room and thus causes suffocation, and in turn, death.

Note: No scientific evidence has ever backed up the credibility of Fan Death.

As mentioned before, Korea has the highest suicide rate in the world, yet this is not something often talked about. Frequently, if someone unfortunately decides to take their own life, the family, being too proud to admit it, will then blame the perils of Fan Death. Not only is this an awful way to avoid discussing a major national problem, but it also severely impacts treatment of temperature in the day to day.

So here I sit, cold, alone, and unable to pee freely. Perhaps Ebenezer Scrooge was actually an English Teacher in Korea...because if that was the case, then I completely understand his viewpoint.

Personal Space

Sorry for being a jerk in this video...I just have a lot of feelings.

Gangnam Style

So strangely enough, soon after I moved to this great nation of South Korea, an epidemic took over the world.

This disease, which began here in Korea and quickly spread internationally, is known only...as Gangnam Style.

For those of you who have been hiding under a sound-proof rock, here's the song above.

This song non-sensically touts the "badassery" of living the high life in Gangnam, the wealthy area of Seoul, but really focuses on the most assinine dance move since the hand-jive. Dubbed the "horse dance" Gangnam style has swept the world.

And here in Korea, a country that has a non-existent drug culture, Gangnam style is crack.

First of all, the one thing Koreans may love almost as much as kimchi, is choreographed dance routines. The art of the music video still reigns supreme here, and when a new k-pop song comes out, the choreography is immediately absorbed, copied, and performed en masse in clubs across the nation.

I first heard Gangnam Style during the Miryang English Camp at the end of July/ beginning of August this past summer. The students showed us the video by singer Psy, and then learned the dance for my end-of-the-week production of the hit broadway play, "Goiter Man" (It was tony-award winning, trust me). I almost blame myself for the worldwide craze, as soon after I posted the song to my Facebook profile, and seeing as how I am so popular and I have so many friends and I am so well-loved and amazing and humble....it was bound to take off.

Psy could be compared to a Weird Al Yankovic in the states. A comedic singer, he actually attended Boston University (Sucks to BU!) and Berkelee College of Music...so ya...we can partially blame the hub for all this...

Also, I found out that one time he got arrested for possession of marijuana here in Korea, and paid his way out, the equivalent of about $400,000 dollars. That's some Gangnam Style shit, yo'...represent!

His video plays on both the slapstick humor that is popular here in Korea, as well as the borderline vulgarity that we love oh-so-much back in the USA. That combined with a gimmicky dance move, toe-tapping beat, and catchy catch-phrase, this one was destined for complete airwave takeover.

But Americans, playa please, quit your complaining about the incessant overplaying of this song, because if you think it is annoying back in the states, than your head would literally explode over here.

I cannot go a day without hearing Gangnam style. It's not even like they overplay it on the radio, I'm talking they play it in the stores, the train stations, the classrooms..even just on the street.

But that isn't the worst part. Even more annoying than the song itself (which I will admit, I do have on my ipod...when in Rome!) is the fact that EVERY Korean person will come up to me and ask:

"Do you know Gangnam style?"

Oh no, I'm sorry, I am unfamiliar with the song that has turned my eardrums into Zildijian cymbals. I don't recognize that seizure-inducing beat that makes me want to kick puppies. What is that dance you are doing? It looks like you are riding on an ass? Oh it's a horse dance! My mistake, I thought people around here just enjoyed looking completely moronic. Thanks for clearing it up!

Now, at first, I was all about it, and to be honest, when I am drunk, I can Gangnam Style like no other. What is also unfortunate, is that this song will be over in approximately one month (Remember Gotye's hit "Somebody that I used to Know? Ya...neither do I) and then South Korea's 15 minutes of world-wide fame will fade into the background of the United Nations until North Korea tries to shoot off another failed bomb again.

In a sense, I feel for Korea. Gangnam style is now more than just an annoying song, it is an annoying anthem of a generation. One day this song will be nothing more than a wedding line dance, and we will be able to look back and think, "I knew this song when it was cool." I mean, think of the "Macarena." There was once a time where we all took joy in the monotony of group arm choreography, and now, our bodies just seem to automatically go through the motions at the occasional Bar Mitzvahs.

Stop the madness now. Save this song from it's eventual demise. Try and keep this chaos as a novelty. Hey...Sexy Lady....

Oppa Gangnam Style!

Oh ya...and this happened.....


http://www.happyplace.com/18380/person-gets-music-tattoo-theyll-regret-fifteen-minutes-from-now

PS-that's not me...




or is it?


PEACE
Annie G.

Coffee in Korea

Coffee is a valuable resource that seems to be lacking in both quantity and quality here in Korea.

On an unrelated note...I am learning how to use the video editor on my IPad.

Chuseok 2012: Nobody puts baby in a corner

I apologize for not updating in a while, life has been a little crazy here in the orient!

Most notably was the recent long holiday weekend known as Chuseok. From Friday, September 28th until Wednesday, October 3rd we were in full celebration mode.

Chuseok is like a Korean thanksgiving. Koreans go to the graves of their ancestors, cut the grass that has overgrown, and then go home to visit their families, overeat and then sit around playing computer games.

My holiday started on Thursday.

After work, I went to meet up with other foreigners at one of our favorite fried chicken and beer restaurants, to celebrate my dear friend Tim's birthday! Of course, this drunkenly lead us to our favorite noraebang, where we sang until about 3am....

Needless to say, this was only the beginning...

I had no classes on Friday because my students were on a field trip, so I basically spent the whole day as a zombie staring at a computer screen. After school, the teachers all went out for dinner, where my principal insisted I sit next to him, and also suggested we should buy matching outfits so he could be my boyfriend...

It was later that the fun all began. Charle and I went to Busan to meet friends for some girls birthday. Apparently, I talked with her for a good hour that night.... I wouldn't know.

On our journey to Busan we decided to create a game, based on a point system with strangers. High fives were one point each, hugs and photobombs were 5 points each, and a bum pinch was 10.

After bum pinching about 5 strangers on the subway (which we got on in the wrong direction) we were waiting for our connecting train when a waltz came on the loudspeakers. We dramatically danced around the platform, specifically circling an innocent Korean couple. Soon we realized, amidst our twirling, that this couple was apparently breaking up, hence the heaving sobs coming from the girl and the look if apathy on the guy's face. We escaped that scene, and I began flexing my new muscles in the reflection of the glass on the platform (I've been working out).

Soon a semicircle of old people cheered me on as I flexed, and I told them I could beat up anyone on that platform.

Finally we made it to our destination, and the party began. We ended up at rock and roll bar, and the song from Dirty Dancing came on, which of course, spawned the catch phrase of the weekend, "nobody puts baby in a corner." As luck would have it, I was put in a corner about 3 times, but we won't get into that....

At about 5 am, we stumbled home. At about 4pm the following day, I had the strength to get off the bathroom floor and leave the house. I vowed that night would be different, that I would go to bed at a decent hour and not do anything inappropriate to try and score points...

18 bum pinches, 36 high fives, 20 hugs, 3 photobombs, and a bottle of Soju later, we were 3 hours deep into an intense noraebang night. I had won all the points for the night, because I had fed a girl kimchi on the street, so I was basking in my glory. You see, all the college students return home for chuseok weekend, so while Miryang is normally a ghost town, this particular weekend it was as busy as the Vegas strip. The noraebang was FULL, and we even found two girls passed out in a room, microphones still in hand. It was beautiful.

The following night we decided to go to Daegu. Now, from all the noraebanging the night before, my voice was really husky. We laughed at my mannish voice as we prepared for our night out. As I dressed in my normal outrageous fashion, I laughed to myself that I resembled a drag queen. What a silly notion! We laughed all the way to Daegu as I joked about stuffing my pants and telling everyone I was actually born "Andy."

We arrived at a party at a bar called Bunnies, that Robert (the man the myth and the legend) recently did some artwork for.

Robert is one of the funniest people I have met. He has exceeded everyone's expectations with regards to wit, and height. Originally from Texas, he has the swagger of an astronaut and the knowledge of a retired police officer. His virtual presence is unrivaled, and we first made our official acquaintance at a barbecue honoring South Africa. He sat and listened to me recount stories from yesteryear, and laugh at the silliness of this life that we live. Little did I know, his omnipresent personality already knew more about me than I could imagine. I really hope he is reading this right now.

My friend Terisha invited her friends from the Army out to meet us, and during the longest Beirut game of my life...I notice an older Korean man observing our game. I spoke aloud, remarking about a recent play. The Korean man turned to me, looked me quizzically in the eye, and asked....


"Lady?"

It took me a second to realize that he was asking about my gender, and not about the delicate way I am always acting. I just turned around and said, "Who brought this guy?" And continuously expressed my hatred for him for the remainder of the game.

The army boys turned to us at the end of the game and suggested we all go to the local casino for floor drinks and blackjack. Anyone who knows me, understands my love of midnight Foxwoods trips and roulette, so naturally us ladies obliged. We made our way threw the smoky throngs of Phillipinos to the roulette table, where I lost 15 bucks in short order. We then decided, being 3am and all, it was a wise idea to play drinking games until 630 am. Another sleepless night.

The following night was another late night Miryang BBQ, which got me to bed at around 4am again. In the afternoon on Tuesday we decided to have another quiet, adult like visit to Daegu. Ingrid, Rich, Kef and myself journeyed to the city to meet up with Terisha. We did a little bit of shopping and decided to make our way to Travelers, the only place where you can get good burger in Daegu. As we walked in, we saw our friends Tim and Jitesh, and also met up with some other long lost buddies that seemed to all migrate tot travelers that evening, as if fate was bringing us all together to party. Around midnight, we decided to be wise and take the earlier train home (the last night train from Daegu leaves at 2:30 am) and call it a night.

Now, maybe it was my off-kilter body clock, or maybe it was the bright lights of Daegu, but I was in no mood to turn in yet, so I convinced Kef to stay out, and madness ensued.

At 7am, as we waited for the early train home, we dazed in and out of consciousness as we remarked about the previous hours when we got adopted by a group of Korean students, were invited for unlimited Jack Daniels at another groups table, got into numerous gangnam style dance-offs, and even got invited to a Korean wedding.

Personally my favorite character of the night was a little drunk Korean girl named Sook Jee, who loved me so much that she physically cried upon my departure.

All in all, Chuseok was an overwhelming success, even though I was ready to get back to work, purely to save what was left of my liver for a few hours.

Taiwanna vacation!!

Geez, it's been a while since my golden shower in Goeje...A bit of an overdue post, but let me bring you all up to speed!!

For my summer break, I took a hop skip and a jump over to the lovely island of Taiwan. Accompanied by my dangerously tall South African neighbor Greg, we knew it would be a miracle if we made it out alive.

We started our trip in Hualien on the East coast. After a day of exploration we decided to do what any educated, responsible traveller would do....find a bar.

After wandering around aimlessly for an hour, we happened upon "All Star Pub."

Approximately 6 hours into a new country, and the G came out.

The All Star Pub had a traditional band playing the stage that night, they were good to begin with, but after several tequila sunrises, they went from OK to FANTASTIC. After they finished their set, the stage was opened up to Kareoke....

Well, after getting the entire bar up and dancing to "I will survive", I got free jäger shots and was asked by other patrons to be the chosen back up dancer for various other performances. This was followed the next night by befriending a German man who lives in Taiwan with his wife. Him and I discussed Travelling, europe, and life, and when asked about other places he experienced during his time in Asia he responded..."I don't go many places around here....I don't like Asians."

Then, to Taipei we went to meet up with our darling friend Ingrid. We spent the time in Taipei at the typical tourist attractions: Taipei 101 Tower, Hot springs, snake alley...etc.

Amidst all the sightseeing, I decided there was one thing left for me to do.

Street Tattoo.

We went to Shilin Night Market, which is a big open air market where you can buy anything from stinky tofu to rolex watches. Now, though I have never gotten a tattoo before, I had been thinking about this particular idea for some time now. I walked past a street tattoo parlor and thought to myself, this is the place to go.

I showed up the next day and met up with Fong (don't worry, him and I are facebook friends now) and told him I wanted a lotus flower on my ankle. I bravely sat down and clenched my teeth, as Fong assured me "Don't worry, you are my woman." I was still unsure of what that meant when the tattoo began.

Barring any hepatitis, it was a great vacation. The food was delicious, the people were fun, and we had a splendid time! Until we had to get back on a plane to the land of the Kimchi.....