Welcome to Ankara, where everybody knows your name...they just can't pronounce it!

Life in Ankara is crazy, complicated, cold, caring and cardiac-arrest-causing, but there’s always something to talk about! The city itself is one of the more boring in the country, so we often go off and seek out fun, or just make our own. With the strange mix of people that we encounter, it is almost a constant guarantee that craziness can ensue at any moment. Luckily, it is extremely easy to make friends in this country, a friendly “merhaba, nasilsin” can almost always get you an invite to dinner. UNFORTUNATELY, it is also fairly easy to burn bridges, as you may have noticed from my constant rotation of friend circles mentioned in this blog.

Anyways, I have decided to try and simplify life in Ankara. If I think hard enough about it, most things here can be broken down into an easy 3-step process…



MEETING NEW FRIENDS!

Step one- go out dressed like an obvious American (or any other foreigner for that matter)

LOOK AT MY POOF! Such was the case one Friday night, where Mackenzie had made other plans and Julia and I decided we needed to go out and refresh our supply of Turkish friends. We decided to go out under the pretense that I was a French girl named Annie (but pronounced Ah-nee) and she was a Spaniard (hu-lee-a). Our story first fell apart when we were stopped by the police on our way to the metro and offered a ride in their van “Oh , we are americans, we like walking!”---nervous giggle---. Our story broke again after a few drinks at the pub…we met some students sitting next to us…which leads me to….

Step two- exhaust all English and Turkish communication vocabulary.

Strangely enough, after one Efes, my Turkish language skills seem to drastically improve. Many people know the smallest bit of English (what is your name, how old are you, and their favorite “where are you from?”) and that combined with my minute knowledge of Turkish is enough fuel for about a 30 minute conversation-complete with useless charades gestures. Usually this provides just enough bonding to make an instant long lasting friendship, but when the conversation is over and there is just awkward silence…you must move on to the final step.

Step three- dance on tables.

Easily the most important of the steps- such a gesture demonstrates the foreigners need for spontaneity and allow for some odd situation that everyone can giggle about later. In our case, we were fortunate to have a group of 40-somethings, drunk at the table next to us, provide the basis for the melee that was about to ensue. As a live band played ,everyone began to get up and dance. At first, the dancing was confined to the floor, but this was obviously not enough space, so naturally the tables and chairs were then utilized.

Easy as that- throw in a couple “find me on face books” and you already have plans for the following weekend!




STARTING A PARTY!

Step one- Establish a presence

So on Saturday night, the Poles had told us there was an 80s party in Kizilay, so we invited them over to get ready (aka raid my closet and wear my ridiculous day-to-day costume like garb) and pregame with raika and 80s music. We obviously were dressed to kill- representing all aspects of the 80s, including the aerobics style 80s, rocker 80s, 80s classic, business casual, and me ….Madonna….duh! We were all excited for our grand entrance- being sure that we would fit in well with our awesome styles. We finally arrive at the bar, walk in with our heads held high, only to realize we were the ONLY ones dressed up (well, there was a Canadian and a swede who were also rocking the side ponytails). To some people, this may deter them from enjoying the festivities, as they are embarrassed and out of place-seen as an outcast. But not to us, in fact, we decided that since we looked the part, we might as well own the party…..

Step two- Get on stage!
One disgusting tequila shot later- it seemed only natural to storm the stage and take over for the DJ, who obviously needed more 80s music. Luckily, he had me there to bumrush the stage, and make requests over his shoulder. When he finally got some Michael Jackson on, it was only natural that we lead the charge with our sweet moves as everyone else watched and cheered. However, the DJ’s equipment soon started to malfunction, causing pauses between songs…where the only natural thing is lead the entire club in singing “I’ve got a feeling” by the black eyed peas---but why stop there….

Step three- Break it down.

It seemed only necessary to establish myself as an important figure in the club, after all, I was Madonna for the night. So after some failed DJ tunes, I decided to just take things into my own hands….literally! Also, it is important to quickly establish a friendship with the entire bar-staff- so you can get away with these type of things.






BRIDGING CULTURAL GAPS!

Step one- Create a micro-United Nations in your group of friends.

Obviously it has been easy to meet Turkish people here, but within the first week- we also got in with a lot of the other Yabanciler (foreigners!) ::See-Erasmus party madness:: We obviously spend a lot of time with the Poles (Nazdrovia!) and with our varying sets of Turks (Sharifeh!). We also rather enjoy spending time with our Dutch friends, the Hollanders (Cheers! Or whatever cheers is in dutch.). All of these groups have distinct cultural food backgrounds, that are often very delicious. In turn, we wished to share some of our culture with these groups of people.

Step two- The cooking process

In true American style- cooking American food has to involve large trips to the grocery store, forgetting ingredients, playing music, loud talking, everyone in the kitchen, alcohol, and just a general all around mess. No vegetables are necessary, and the more trans-fats the better! Because some foods are not available here in Turkey (tell marshmallow fluff and jiffy peanut butter that I miss them) sometimes you need to improvise. Budweiser for Efes, boxed wine for bottles, bacon for mystery mean, crushed crackers for breadcrumbs…you get the idea.

Step three- Fried chicken and Baked Macaroni and cheese until you can’t move.

After making a grotesquely fattening and delicious meal, we instructed everyone to eat until they literally feel sick, and then taught them how to unbutton their pants and sit around the table, digesting and talking about how full they are. We explained how Fried chicken and macaroni and cheese held a special place in the heart of many americans in the tv-dinner age, and how we were happy to share a piece of our home with them ::BURRRRRPPP!!:::: ahhh……

So there you have it, three important concepts broken down into an easy-to-follow and foolproof method. I dare you all to try some of these back in the states, let me know how it goes :)

You stay classy San Diego,

Madonna-er-Annie