Ok, so before I begin, if you haven't already gathered...I'm kind of an asshole.
If we are to divide my emotional output, I would say I am about 65% Asshole, 20% Wicked nice, and 15% indifferent towards my general interactions. As you can see, being an asshole usually trumps most of my interactions (see previous posts).
Additionally, I have previously noted my irrational pet peeves, however, there is one particular thing that I have experienced specifically in my travels abroad, and in Korea is occurs with an overwhelming frequency.
You see, around the world, everyone wants to learn English. Regardless if they hate the western world or not, English is a desired skill to obtain purely for their own selfish benefits or for the benefit of potential business and income. In a homogeneous culture such as Korea, I am an easily identifiable English Speaker, and thus, people assume that I wish to engage in meaningless conversation with them.
This is not a problem for those I work with or interact with on a daily basis. For example, my pharmacist, "Danny," speaks a bit of English, and I happily speak with him as he gives me drugs. The coffee shop people try their hand at a few comments about the weather and give me a free waffle. Everyone is happy.
Yet, a large segment of the population of randos that I encounter on my daily walkabouts see me and must misread my "headphones on and shut off from the rest of the world" look to mean "Hey, I would love to hear about what you bought at the store the other day stranger!" look.
Let me further explain. Almost every day, people I DON'T know, or BARELY know, try and have full on conversations with me in broken English about things I don't give a flying fuck about.
Mom sorry for saying fuck, but just brace yourself for this post, because I am an asshole.
So say I am in the middle of the desert. In my pocket is a bunch of flying fucks. Don't ask me specifically what these look like, perhaps they are merely 3D words with wings attached...I don't know use your imagination. Anyways, I have these fucks packed to the rim in my pocket-full-o-fucks, and I am happily skipping about the desert with my fucks happy as a clam.
All of a sudden, I reach a Korean stranger. This stranger is starving, perhaps thirsty, in a rough way. The only thing that could feed them and restore their health is a conversation about how Kimchi is the best food in the world, and just one small flying fuck from my cornucopia of fucks.
Here I am, in the desert, at a crossroads of life, wondering if I should give a fuck to this stranger. I mean, oh well, it's just one right?
Nope, I skip away, cackling my evil cackle, giving from my bag of fucks to puppies and kitties I see along my way, but none to the strangers with nothing to say.
"Annie you are an awful human, it can't be that bad, what is 3 minutes to someone who is just interested about you and your life? You should be nicer, just take some time to talk about the weather or the trees or something and let them enjoy their day."
No.
For those of you with this mentality, you are either in your first 3 months in a foreign land, or you are rolling on happy pills, because that is not the way this works.
Every day I deal with these nonsense conversations, and the Korean language is very different from English, both syntactically and grammatically, so all the while during these conversations I have to puzzle piece together what they are trying to say, and after all that effort of trying to figure out their message, I realize I STILL don't care about whatever it is they are talking about. AND usually these repeat offenders just tell me the same things over and over.
Take for example this nice woman who smiled at me on the street one day. I see her almost daily, because she works near me. Typically she spots me on my morning commute, when I have my headphones on and am still trying to wake up. Most people would be able to gauge that I am in no mood to entertain these pointless talks...but not her. Now don't get me wrong, she is very nice, but she will sit next to me on the bus or train and interrupt my morning song rotation. Here is an example of our daily interaction.
Korean Lady -Herro
Me- Hi
Korean Lady ::::rapid fire korean::::
Me :::blank stare:::
Korean Lady- My english no good.
Me- My Korean is not good either.
Korean Lady :::rapid fire korean and struggling to think of English words::::
Me :::blank stare:::
Korean Lady- Today rain.
Me- Yup, it's definitely raining.
Korean Lady- My english no good,
Me- Mmm hmm.
Korean lady- Yesterday Homeplus.
Me- You went to homeplus yesterday?
Korean lady- yes.
Me- cool
Korean lady- sale on underwear.
Me- cool
Korean lady :::rapid fire korea:::;
Me- Sorry I gotta go...do...something...bye
EVERY DAY. If only they could read my internal dialogue. "Stop speaking to me in Korean, you know I don't speak in Korean. Ya I know it's raining, it sucks because I am going to work in the rain, you don't have to rub it in. Ya I know your English isn't good, trust me, I was able to pick up on that. You went to homeplus to buy underwear? What would make you think that is a conversation I would like to continue with you. Do you want me to ask you what kind of underwear you got? What colors? Because none of these follow up questions I could potentially ask you would help me care about this interaction any more. why can't we just half-heartedly acknowledge each others presence and then let me continue to stare out the window."
The fact of the matter is, the people who typically have these conversations with me don't actually care for me or want to know about me, they just see me as a walking textbook, someone they can just blindly practice their skills with. They think that I enjoy educating people, and will do it freely for anyone. They think if they speak to me for 5 minutes everyday, that they will somehow gain fluency in a language. They look to me as a free on the street tutor.
Sometimes they even try and masquerade as wanting a new friendship to further their skills. One time I was out at a restaurant with Chelsea and a man comes and sits next to us, spouting off the same useless shit about not knowing English etc. Then he says (or tries to) "We can get coffee and you can help me with my English and I will help you with Korean."
They think if they "befriend" us that free English lessons will ensue.
Our response...
"Ok, well we typically charge 30,000 won for half hour lessons, 50,000 for hour long sessions."
Blank stares ensue
"But we are friends, I can help you with Korean and you can help me with English"
"Oh I don't care about learning Korean. We are teachers so ya."
Never heard from again.
It becomes less of a conversation, than someone just talking at me. And at this point, my time is my money, and unless you are going to pay me for this conversation, then stop talking. No principal, I don't the English name for that tree...because I am not a damn botanist. No coteacher, I don't care if you think that mountain looks like a man lying down. No person on the street, I don't give a shit about if your sister's ex neighbor now lives in Alaska. And hey, if you still want to tell me I am a bad person after all this? Ya I don't really care about that either.
LoVe YoU BiAtChEz!!!!!
Annie G
If we are to divide my emotional output, I would say I am about 65% Asshole, 20% Wicked nice, and 15% indifferent towards my general interactions. As you can see, being an asshole usually trumps most of my interactions (see previous posts).
Additionally, I have previously noted my irrational pet peeves, however, there is one particular thing that I have experienced specifically in my travels abroad, and in Korea is occurs with an overwhelming frequency.
You see, around the world, everyone wants to learn English. Regardless if they hate the western world or not, English is a desired skill to obtain purely for their own selfish benefits or for the benefit of potential business and income. In a homogeneous culture such as Korea, I am an easily identifiable English Speaker, and thus, people assume that I wish to engage in meaningless conversation with them.
This is not a problem for those I work with or interact with on a daily basis. For example, my pharmacist, "Danny," speaks a bit of English, and I happily speak with him as he gives me drugs. The coffee shop people try their hand at a few comments about the weather and give me a free waffle. Everyone is happy.
Yet, a large segment of the population of randos that I encounter on my daily walkabouts see me and must misread my "headphones on and shut off from the rest of the world" look to mean "Hey, I would love to hear about what you bought at the store the other day stranger!" look.
Let me further explain. Almost every day, people I DON'T know, or BARELY know, try and have full on conversations with me in broken English about things I don't give a flying fuck about.
Mom sorry for saying fuck, but just brace yourself for this post, because I am an asshole.
So say I am in the middle of the desert. In my pocket is a bunch of flying fucks. Don't ask me specifically what these look like, perhaps they are merely 3D words with wings attached...I don't know use your imagination. Anyways, I have these fucks packed to the rim in my pocket-full-o-fucks, and I am happily skipping about the desert with my fucks happy as a clam.
All of a sudden, I reach a Korean stranger. This stranger is starving, perhaps thirsty, in a rough way. The only thing that could feed them and restore their health is a conversation about how Kimchi is the best food in the world, and just one small flying fuck from my cornucopia of fucks.
Here I am, in the desert, at a crossroads of life, wondering if I should give a fuck to this stranger. I mean, oh well, it's just one right?
Nope, I skip away, cackling my evil cackle, giving from my bag of fucks to puppies and kitties I see along my way, but none to the strangers with nothing to say.
"Annie you are an awful human, it can't be that bad, what is 3 minutes to someone who is just interested about you and your life? You should be nicer, just take some time to talk about the weather or the trees or something and let them enjoy their day."
No.
For those of you with this mentality, you are either in your first 3 months in a foreign land, or you are rolling on happy pills, because that is not the way this works.
Every day I deal with these nonsense conversations, and the Korean language is very different from English, both syntactically and grammatically, so all the while during these conversations I have to puzzle piece together what they are trying to say, and after all that effort of trying to figure out their message, I realize I STILL don't care about whatever it is they are talking about. AND usually these repeat offenders just tell me the same things over and over.
Take for example this nice woman who smiled at me on the street one day. I see her almost daily, because she works near me. Typically she spots me on my morning commute, when I have my headphones on and am still trying to wake up. Most people would be able to gauge that I am in no mood to entertain these pointless talks...but not her. Now don't get me wrong, she is very nice, but she will sit next to me on the bus or train and interrupt my morning song rotation. Here is an example of our daily interaction.
Korean Lady -Herro
Me- Hi
Korean Lady ::::rapid fire korean::::
Me :::blank stare:::
Korean Lady- My english no good.
Me- My Korean is not good either.
Korean Lady :::rapid fire korean and struggling to think of English words::::
Me :::blank stare:::
Korean Lady- Today rain.
Me- Yup, it's definitely raining.
Korean Lady- My english no good,
Me- Mmm hmm.
Korean lady- Yesterday Homeplus.
Me- You went to homeplus yesterday?
Korean lady- yes.
Me- cool
Korean lady- sale on underwear.
Me- cool
Korean lady :::rapid fire korea:::;
Me- Sorry I gotta go...do...something...bye
EVERY DAY. If only they could read my internal dialogue. "Stop speaking to me in Korean, you know I don't speak in Korean. Ya I know it's raining, it sucks because I am going to work in the rain, you don't have to rub it in. Ya I know your English isn't good, trust me, I was able to pick up on that. You went to homeplus to buy underwear? What would make you think that is a conversation I would like to continue with you. Do you want me to ask you what kind of underwear you got? What colors? Because none of these follow up questions I could potentially ask you would help me care about this interaction any more. why can't we just half-heartedly acknowledge each others presence and then let me continue to stare out the window."
The fact of the matter is, the people who typically have these conversations with me don't actually care for me or want to know about me, they just see me as a walking textbook, someone they can just blindly practice their skills with. They think that I enjoy educating people, and will do it freely for anyone. They think if they speak to me for 5 minutes everyday, that they will somehow gain fluency in a language. They look to me as a free on the street tutor.
Sometimes they even try and masquerade as wanting a new friendship to further their skills. One time I was out at a restaurant with Chelsea and a man comes and sits next to us, spouting off the same useless shit about not knowing English etc. Then he says (or tries to) "We can get coffee and you can help me with my English and I will help you with Korean."
They think if they "befriend" us that free English lessons will ensue.
Our response...
"Ok, well we typically charge 30,000 won for half hour lessons, 50,000 for hour long sessions."
Blank stares ensue
"But we are friends, I can help you with Korean and you can help me with English"
"Oh I don't care about learning Korean. We are teachers so ya."
Never heard from again.
It becomes less of a conversation, than someone just talking at me. And at this point, my time is my money, and unless you are going to pay me for this conversation, then stop talking. No principal, I don't the English name for that tree...because I am not a damn botanist. No coteacher, I don't care if you think that mountain looks like a man lying down. No person on the street, I don't give a shit about if your sister's ex neighbor now lives in Alaska. And hey, if you still want to tell me I am a bad person after all this? Ya I don't really care about that either.
LoVe YoU BiAtChEz!!!!!
Annie G
