Ty-Rant

BAHAHAHAHAHA!

And it begins, I have already heard feedback about my new blog, keep it coming.

Blog is such a funny word, it sounds like it should be a piece of bloody wood....but it's not.

Now, for those of you who used to read my xanga journal- back in the angry days of highschool- you will recognize my angry form of social commentary I refer to as "ranting." Yes, I sure do love a good rant, and hopefully you do too!

Tomorrow, wednesday February 19th, is a very important day. Tomorrow is the premiere of America's Next Top Model Season 10. A momentous occassion indeed, and oh how I enjoy a good anorexicly skinny reality delight! But my rant is not about models, or objectifying women, or even about the evils of the media. Nay, today I want to tell you my feelings on....

TYRA BANKS!

I feel that I have had a personal relationship with Tyra. I remember back in the day, watching her strut her signature walk on TV- showing the world her fierceness. I remember watching her, and the pre-hab Lindsay Lohan in "Lifesize" (that wonder of a made-for-tv disney movie). I reveled in her bit part in "Coyote Ugly", and even thought she was all that in the first few seasons of ANTM. But then, things went horribly, horribly wrong. I knew the only way to express my feelings was in a letter.

Dear Tyra,

Tyra, I ask you, why have you let me down? Why have you turned a show about the trials and tribulations about women who would otherwise have been gangly and awkward if it wasn't for the demands of the fashion industry into a promo all about your sold out career? Why did you have to sink into the depths of hell after you were a Victoria's secret angel? I remember your picture in the Guiness Record book for modeling the most expensive diamond encrusted bra. Now, you have to beg for attention.

ANTM has been warped into a show where you have not only acquired a psychology degree, but constantly show girls up, because you prove yourself more fierce. Why not let them show their fierceness the way they see fit! Must you always correct their gaze, their pouts, their attitude?

I understand you have been modeling since you were 15 and must be well versed in the ways of reality (sarcasm), and I understand that you have you're own talk show that you wish was as classy as Oprah's, but since when did you recieve the same credentials for advice as Dr. Phil? Your advice is as cheap as your ever-changing weave, but for some reason, no one has doubted your authenticity?

These models look up to you! Don't you understand! How can you feed them this crap about not having confidence! I doubt someone vain enough to enter a nationally brodcasted modeling competition lacks confidence. The problem is you Tyra, you are a vacuum. You suck all their confidence up because you need more for yourself! Don't snap your fingers at me one second and then recite shakespeare to me the next! STOP CONFUSING AMERICA! You are nothing but a TyRANT!

I'm sorry Tyra, I can't do this anymore. Goodbye. Forever!

Well at least until tomorrow's premiere.

Hate,

Annie G.